No Saints Here | 18+

CH 4 Lolita

Christian's POV:

Why did I let her undo me with ease? She completely went off on me. Making my skin itch with irritation as I tried to subdue my own thoughts of her. Her mere existence was haunting me all of class...

 Let alone the fact she insinuated that I'm a liar, and then wrote only one sentence on her assignment about it. She knew I would think, she was implicitly writing about me...  She was tricky, thoughtful, and beautiful in all the worst ways. Making my first day at St. Mary's filled with thoughts of her. 

And only her.

Even as I tried to plan out my next class during my prep period, my mind was cycling on a loop of just who Alex Abernathy was. Was her confidence and wit all a show? Was her mind really fascinated with maturity and the dark side of literature? Just thinking about it now, I grabbed her book from my bag...

Chapter 4 surprised me when she wrote in the margin the word "regression". Speaking of the time when Humbert was recounting his adolescent love with Annabelle, and comparing it to Lolita. She explained in her red, laced pen how she believes the author is trying to make us feel empathetic towards Humbert. While he explains how he has been stuck thinking constantly about Annabelle until he met Lolita. Lolita changed everything.

On chapter 5 her red ink danced around the printed words with elegance, as I watched her circle the word "nymphet" ever single time. She hardly wrote in the margins, explaining how the author speaks of his actions as if they weren't a monstrosity, rather, a cry for someone to help. I could already tell Alex felt some form of sympathy towards Humbert's past as he justifies his actions.

As I continued to read I noticed that Alex was less in love with the story, as much as she was in love with the way it was written. It's almost a manipulative way of writing of tricking the audience.

Even when I made it home, It was nearly impossible to think about any other subject. All I could do is feel the after math of Alex and how intoxicating her presence was. It was some "enchantment" or "spell" similar to the one Humbert had for Lolita. 

I loosened my tie, and propped my feet on my coffee table, as I continued to read. Noticing how Alex was overtly aware of the author, Nabokov, was fishing for his readers sympathy.

Her red ink started to bleed when she wrote how love can be a form of violence. Someone who is so infatuated with love is willing to kill, be killed, or kill them in order to keep their love trapped in time...

Despite Alex's last cold words to me, I started to realize she was truly, quite intelligent. Peering between the lines and fancy words, while also creating connections. It was something I wasn't quite sure I could do myself. 

She would draw connections to how the author is trying to keep his readers attention by having us watch his internal struggle on his obsession. Making me realize Alex is always aware of a secrete agenda, written or spoken by others.

In some way, as I continued to read less of the story and more of Alex's annotations, she started to state how she believes that, Lolita knows how she is acting towards Humbert. Stating how she was smarter than she is initially perceived. Writing, intelligence doesn't correlate with age, rather wisdom does. She also underlined the word "McFate." several times. Debating whether or not it truly was or wasn't. 

I lost track of time, solely reading only Alex's annotation's now. They were so personal and yet insightful to how she viewed the relationship that I had to put down the book. I didn't want to finish it. 

I felt if I did, I would indirectly end whatever me and Alex just started... Besides,  It was wrong, reading the book while also reading my students thoughts on it felt incriminating.