No Saints Here | 18+

CH 56 I'm Coming

Alex's POV:

I ended up going to dinner that night. 

I managed to wipe off the little makeup I had on in Luke's car, and couldn't help but remain quiet. Feeling mute for the first time of my life, as I felt numb and broken. Everyone at dinner, would ask if I was okay every five minutes, despite knowing I wasn't. At times a few of them would hold my hand and 'whisper everything was going to be alright' in my ear. As if my change in attitude scared them. They moved up our flight to the day after graduation. We were also supposed to meet at Luke's house, and carpool there. Packing nothing and I quote 'our swimsuits and sunscreen.' Everyone laughed but me. 

Even now I tried hard to be happy as my parents took pictures of me before graduation. My mom knew something was off but didn't want to ask during such an important time. My dad thought I was sorrowful over growing up. All my siblings thought it was because I sat my parents down at told them, it was my life, and I was going to do what I want. While both of them refused to believe i wanted to do online college. But, I knew myself. I knew what I wanted, I was decisive in nature. And I didn't want the college experience, I wanted to live life while i was young. I wanted to visit different countries, I wanted to visit any town in the world when I wanted to and sign on to do school work when I wanted to. I wanted to take advantage of my free time, and the only way my parents understood that was through the fountain of tears I managed to evoke Sunday night. 

And yet, what I was worried most about was seeing Christian, if he happened to be here today. Lucky for me, he was no where to be found. He wasn't in the crowd, he wasn't in the teacher seats by us, he wasn't anywhere. He... wasn't here, and that seemed to be what hurt worst about graduation day. The one person I thought would be happy to celebrate this moment with me wasn't here. Even in the distance. He was truly... gone...

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The next day, I felt robotic in motion. Packing my bags as I looked at the clock every 5 minutes, knowing my flight leaves soon...

"Sweetie?" I heard a knock on my bedroom door. 

"Yeah mom?" I breathed out, shoving my black swimsuit into my bag. Forcing the thoughts of me and Christian out of my mind, as I thought back on our first night.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, as she sat on the edge of my bed. 

"Honestly, no." I looked up at her. I didn't want to admit it again. I didn't want to relive every moment of our last conversation. Luke made me block him, and renounce everything these past couple months- at least until our vacation is over. He didn't want me to kill the mood than i already did, despite him remaining worried. Texting me nonstop so I didn't feel tempted to reach out to Christian. 

"Okay well, when you land you need to—"

"I know..." I breathed out, shoving a couple of beach clothes and dresses into my duffle bag. "The second I get to the hotel, I'll write down the address and my room number. In case something happens or you want to call the room." I looked up at her, trying to cry for the third time today. "Anything else?" I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. 

"So you're all driving over to Luke's?" She asked looking at me worried. 

"Yep." I tried to say with a smile. "And I will text you with updates as to where I'm at so you don't get nervous."

"Thanks," she stood up from my bed, as she started to walk out the room. "You know," she leaned back into my room from behind the door frame. "When you are ready to talk about it, I'm here." She said with a soft smile. I smiled back, and threw another bathing suit in the bag. "I love you." She hummed. When I felt a shiver run up my spine.