No Saints Here | 18+

CH 57 I Love You

Alex's POV:

These past few days, were dragging on. I was truly have more fun than I would at home, and yet I still felt unlike myself. I didnt know I could give so much of myself to someone- and felt as if I never got it back. 

"X, we're having dinner on the beach tonight." Luke said, as we started our trek back from the hotel pool. "Then we're probably going to have drinks by the bonfire like last night." 

"Okay." I stated, keeping my sunglasses on while riding up the elevator. 

"Alex, I really think you need a drink tonight." Josh spoke from the back of the elevator. 

"It might be the break through you need right now." Spencer rushed out from his corner. 

"I don't want to drink tonight." I spoke softly, as the elevator reached our floor. 

"What about weed?" Noah asked. "Maybe getting high is better."

"She got high the first night, and she said she didn't like how it made her feel." Luke bit out. "She was crying more than before. If she doesn't want to drink tonight either she's not going to." We all stepped out of the elevator. "Our only job is to be here for her. That's it." 

"Preach." I stated calmly, as I opened my hotel room. 

"You think you can be ready in a half hour X?" Luke asked, before opening the door across the hall. 

"Yup." I stated before closing the door behind me. 

I don't know what it was. It was like someone hit the power down button on me, and i couldn't turn it back on. All i could do was mindlessly get ready, and stare into oblivion.

 After i took a shower, I threw on some shorts and a sleeveless top. Hoping it was enough for the beach dinner tonight. Sure, i packed clothes that were nicer, but I wasn't interested in feeling sexy or drawing attention towards me.

I kind of just sat there, staring at myself in the mirror. Watching my hair air dry, as I put on mascara. Falling victim to my mindless routine this entire trip. I had never seen Luke so protective over me. Making sure I was far away from crying at any moment. 

I guess picking me up off the ground and putting me into his Camaro after I balled my eyes out was an eye opening experience. I was grateful for him, I truly was. He was the friend I needed during all of this. And all I could do was follow him around Miami while my mind kept retracing thoughts in the shape of my... never mind. I'm trying to do better...

However, before I could put on anymore makeup, I heard a loud commotion outside. Annoyed that it might be one of the boys arguing again, I looked through the peep hole and felt my eyes go wide...

I looked away, and down at the ground feeling jaded as to why my mind pictured anyone as him. When I then looked again... This time letting my eyes stay glued to what I was seeing...

_______________________

Christian's POV:

I looked down at the piece of paper, and ran down the hall. Throwing my bag down by the door, when I banged on the hotel room door. "Alex." I shouted out." I banged once more on door 617, "Alex, please it's me." I rushed out. Pressing both of my hands against the door frame, trying to catch my breath. "I don't even know if you're in there... or at dinner, but I just hopped on a plane, practicing this speech, only to then run up of an absurd amount of stairs because every elevator was busy." I breathed out. "Look... I don't care what college you go to!" I shouted. "I thought the right thing to do was push you in the other direction— to do what is best for you. But fuck, I can't help but be selfish. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't work, and I can't exist without you, because you are what's best for me." I stated loudly. "Alex, it's crazy to admit, but I swear to god I've been in love with you from the start. I fell in love with your sense of humor, your smile, your intelligence, and every god damn thing about you." I heard my voice crack. " I have been in love with you the entire time. I was just... scared, I was scared of you living a life in hiding with me, not perusing your dreams because of me. But you are my dream Alex- every god damn night. And I can't let you live your life, not knowing that I love you!" I shouted. "I love you!" I laughed, feeling weird as it came out. "I want to fight for you, I want to go wherever you go, I want to be the shoulder you cry on, I want to be the one you run to with good news. I want to wake up next to you in the morning, and I want to feel your heart beat on mine." I felt my voice choke, as a tear ran down my face. "I want to live whatever life you want. I don't know what's in store for us, but all I know is I will go to the edges of the earth to find you!" I started to shed more tears. "Alex Abernathy, I had never felt as strong about something as I do for you. I love you Alex, more than you can comprehend... i truly do..." I started to cry, holding myself up only by the door frame in front of me. When the door finally creaked.