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Mentions of depression and this is a pretty emotional chapter. Goodluck, it's looooong

Derek was laying in bed and was having a full blown anxiety attack after the dream he had earlier tonight. Everything had to be okay. Meredith needed to be okay

Start of the dream

"Mer, come on sweetie. I need to wash you" Derek quietly woke her up, the cancer had grown, it had even started to overtake her lungs. It's been a week since Bailey came to tell them the news and all of them had decided to stop any further treatment

"No. Cold" She muttered

"Come on Mer, I'll be very quick" Derek whispered

"Home"

"In a few hours" Derek promised her

"Shower at home" Meredith protested

"Okay" Derek gave in, he hated seeing her so vulnerable. He hoped that quitting with the chemo sessions would give her a chance to get a few good last months

"Down" Meredith was too tired to speak a lot as she weakly patted the mattress

"Want me to lay down next to you?" Derek asked with a soft smile

Meredith weakly nodded her head but fell asleep before Derek laid down next to her

Hours passed before Christopher and Carolyn had arrived at the hospital, they softly knocked on the door and walked in

"How's she?" Carolyn asked as she walked closer to Meredith and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead

"She's barely been awake.." Derek sighed and looked at his dad who was still standing in the doorway "Dad?"

"It's not supposed to be like this" He muttered as a tear escaped his eye

"I know" Derek sighed and tightened his grip on Meredith

"Let's take her home. Addison and Mark are home with the girls" Carolyn looked at the two men "We need to give her the best final months she could wish for"

"You're right" Christopher whispered as tears kept escaping his eyes

"Yeah" Derek muttered, he clearly wasn't ready to let her slip

"Let's go" Christopher carried Meredith's bag

"Want me to go grab a wheelchair?" Carolyn asked

"No. I wanna let her sleep" Derek lifted her in his arms. She had lost so much weight the past months so he didn't bother at all

Christopher was leading while Derek followed his dad with Meredith, who was still asleep, in his arms. Carolyn's hand resting on his back

...

When they had arrived home they smiled as the girls were waiting with 'Welcome home' signs

"Mommy!" The two girls ran to their parents

"Let me help mommy sit down first" Derek said and lifted Meredith onto the couch and made sure she was warm and comfortable

"Mommy, we missed you" The two girls whispered and cuddled into their mother's side

They had been told things weren't what they hoped for and that Meredith soon would be home and if everything went 'well' she wouldn't return to the hospital but none of the girls knew she was actually gonna stay home to die

"Hi" Meredith breathed and rested her head on top of Ava's head

"We have a surprise" Emma giggled

"Do you?" Meredith chuckled as she was fighting to stay awake

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