REM // Van McCann

19. Slowly Falling

Larry pulled over to the side of the street to drop me off, thanking me for taking the time to listen to him. It's been a while since we've had one of those talks. We've been busy with work that we forget to ask what's going on in each other's lives. I said goodbye and closed the car door, watching Larry take off. The straps of my bag dug into my shoulder from the weight of my laptop and I couldn't wait to go home and unwind.

The first thing I did was drop my bag onto the couch and walk over to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. It was one of those days where I needed help unwinding, and seeing how much wine I had left, I reckon I must have a lot of those days. Luckily I didn't need to cook as I still had leftovers from last night. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and warmed up some dinner, bringing it to the couch. I turned on the telly even though I wasn't paying attention to what was playing and brought my laptop out, connecting it to power, and placing it on my lap.

I was determined to get a good portion of the report done so I opened a new template, put in the details at the top, and began describing what happened. Even though my dream was simple, there was a lot going on. I was surprised I instantly recognized the place and knew I had picked up where I left off. It's not often that my dreams do that.

It wasn't until an hour later that I finished. My dinner had gotten cold so I warmed the remaining food in the microwave and took the opportunity to grab my journal from my room, laying it down on the kitchen table. My sketches were scattered throughout, each drawing a continuation of the previous dream. Eventually, I want to lay them out and see if I can make any connections but they're bound in my journal for the time being.

My dreams first started at what I assumed was her new home in Portugal. The style was something not common in the UK. The orange tile rooftops, the colorful façades, and the kitchen tiles were a refreshing change from English architecture. It was a small, unassuming house but it had plenty of charm.

She was unpacking her boxes, upset about leaving the UK and she'd cry herself to sleep every night. Her mum told her to go outside for some fresh air. They were concerned about their daughter's health but it wasn't anything alarming as this always happened whenever they moved. No one likes to leave their friends and home behind, especially a boy she met less than a year ago who shouted at her in the rain.

I went to my bag and grabbed the notebook I had brought home, flipping through the pages until I found the drawing I made today. I folded the page along the perforated lines and carefully tore it off. Storing my drawings in multiple notebooks isn't ideal so I placed the loose page in my journal. The loose page stuck out like a sore thumb but I had no choice but to deal with it. I went to bed earlier than expected as today's events tired me out.

-

It wasn't until our third lesson that she felt confident enough to sit behind the wheel, though it took a lot of coaxing and reassurance from me. Her hands gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles were white and her face was pale from nerves. If she wasn't gripping the wheel, I'm sure her hands would be shaking right now. She sat there with the car off, adjusting her seat and mirrors. Her left foot pressed the clutch down as she familiarized herself with the feel of pressing it all the way down.

"It feels different, doesn't it?" I asked and she nodded her head, testing the clutch again and again. "Do you want to start the engine?"

As much as I'd love to sit here all day watching her constantly adjust her seat and mirrors, she was moving a bit too slow for my liking. Luckily she wasn't offended and started the engine without question. The engine roared to life which caused her to jump and I laughed at her reaction.

"What's next?" I prompted.

She looked down and moved the gear stick to first gear and disengaged the handbrake. My hope was that she memorized where the gears were and she probably has but doesn't feel confident in her abilities. Looking down isn't a problem but I was afraid her eyes wouldn't be on the road which is the most important thing.