REM // Van McCann

51. Set Up

Clara never told me how much time she needed so I waited, not wanting to be overbearing. I figured she needed a day or two to think and then she'd be ready to talk. What I didn't expect was for it to be five days and not hear from her.

It's strange to think that months ago, seeing her once a week was enough. Now I think about her several times a day wondering what she's up to and if she misses me just like I miss her. I've thought about reaching out many times but then I'd get a bad feeling and change my mind every time.

I spent the whole week thinking about how I handled the situation and if I was in the wrong. I even looked at things from her perspective. She's very close to her family and they're all she has. She doesn't have many friends from moving all her life so I get that it's scary being separated from them. In a life full of change, they're the only ones that remained constant in her life. If I take that away from her, I've taken everything from her. Maybe I was a bit selfish looking into jobs without thinking about her. I was a bit over my head thinking she'd agree to move with me.

But I'm not entirely in the wrong either. I wouldn't mind waiting but several months is a long time to wait and time isn't exactly on my side. I'll miss out on many job opportunities. And what if my field isn't where her parents are moving to? What will I do then? It's unreasonable to have me sacrifice my career so she can be closer to her parents. My phone buzzed with an incoming text and I quickly looked at the screen.

I'm not sure what's happened between the two of you but I thought you'd like to know her birthday is today.

The text was from an unknown number—most likely her dad's because he's the one I've talked to the most. Even he knows something happened. Did Clara tell them? Probably not since he doesn't know what happened but he could tell by his daughter's change in behavior.

It's strange to think that Clara and I have known each other for a while now but never thought to ask for each other's birthday. I just thought it'd come up in conversation one day when it was time. I wouldn't put it past Clara to be one of those people that don't want others to make a fuss over it. The fact that her dad went through the effort to tell me was touching.

22 June. I get that she's upset at me but c'mon...not telling me it's her birthday? Her dad texted me around noon so it wasn't too late to do something. Calling or texting her wasn't enough. I need to see her. I picked up my phone and wrote back.

Thank you Mr. Jones. I have a huge favor to ask of you. Can you call me when you get the chance?

After I sent the text, I quickly made my way to the nearest bakery to buy a cake for her. It's much too late to order a cake so I decided to try my luck and see what I could find. All the popular flavors were long gone but luckily I came across a chocolate raspberry cake. You can't go wrong with chocolate, can you?

Then I went to the grocery store to buy some flowers and balloons for her. Fucking hell, does all of England have their birthday in June?! They ran out of balloons that said Happy Birthday so I was left with a surplus of Congrats, Get Well Soon, and Happy Anniversary. We've not even been together half a year let alone one year but I decided to buy the balloon that said Happy Anniversary just for shits. In the car, I found a Sharpie, crossed out anniversary, and wrote birthday. It was the most shoddy looking balloon ever and I contemplated letting the balloon fly away but decided to keep it as I spent over £2 on the damn thing.

I wasn't sure if the plan would work. If she knows I'll be there, there's no way she'll agree to see me. When her dad called me back, I first checked that they weren't planning anything with their daughter as I didn't want to ruin their plans. They were going to do dinner tonight but actually celebrated the day before as well. They had reserved a table for three at 6 PM and were willing to give it to me. Her parents were going to drop her off so she can claim the table while they went to "go look for parking."