The Illyrian Warrior

Chapter Twenty-One

Davina had locked herself in her apartment for a week now. She didn't let anybody in, didn't want anybody to see the wreck she had become. Her hair was a mess, she hadn't bathed in days, dishes were piling up on the sink and Davina had barely moved from her spot on the couch.

Her heart still thundered in anger and sorrow. The mating bond grated against her every nerve, wanting desperately for her to hurt Elain. She wouldn't. As much as she wanted to, she wouldn't touch Elain. She reminded Davina of Wren.

Azriel, Cassian and even Nesta had tried to visit her several times. Each time Davina would tell them that she was fine and just needed space. They would listen and Davina would wait until she couldn't hear their footsteps before she started crying again.

Davina felt like the weight of the world was sitting on her chest. It wasn't just tears for Azriel anymore but tears for Wren, and tears for her anger. She was angry at Azriel, she was angry at Elain, but most importantly she was angry at herself. How foolish could she be to allow herself to fall for him? That hurt the most. She had actually fallen for him. And it felt as though he took that love and stomped on it.

Pathetic. Idiotic. Weak.

She was so stupid. Nobody in their right mind, would look at her, the Illyrian without wings, the girl made of scars, and think that she was beautiful.

"Ugh", said a voice from behind her, "your thoughts are terribly loud".

Davina jumped at the sound and then glared her puffy eyes at Rhysand, who stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets.

"Go away!" She growled before turning away.

"Hey!" He said, "don't give me that crap".

"I'm not interested in whatever you have to say, leave me alone", Davina said sternly.

Rhysand sighed and made his way through the junk on Davina's floor to stand across from her.

"I came here as your boss, not your friend", he said seriously, "so don't think for one second I'm here to make you feel better".

Davina glared but didn't say anything.

"It's been a week", Rhys stated plainly, "and I still haven't seen any progress in the Illyrian camps".

Davina growled and sat up, "if you can't tell I've been a little busy", she said gesturing to the mess around her.

Rhys scrunched his nose up, "yes, it does smell in here".

Davina was already as angry as it is, she didn't need Rhys parading around in her house telling her it smelt bad.

"Consider this my two weeks notice", Davina said angrily, "I quit".

Rhysand tutted, "I'm afraid that isn't an option".

Davina glared.

"You see", Rhys said, "you did sign your life away".

"Piss off Rhysand, I'm not in the mood for your jokes", Davina said standing up and walking towards the kitchen.

"It's been a week, Davina", Rhys called after her, "you should be getting over your grief now".

"Who are you to put a time limit on grief?" Davina spat, before pouring herself a glass of water.

Rhysand appeared in front of her, snatching the glass of water from her hand and taking a sip for himself.

"I know you're mates with Azriel", Rhysand said softly, more softly than Davina had ever heard him speak, "and I know you saw him and Elain".

Davina growled, snatching the glass from Rhys' hand and slamming it on the sink.

"Get out of my house!"

"No", he said calmly.

Davina pushed him, feeling the thrum of power in her veins, wanting nothing more to punch and kick until she was out of energy. Rhysand merely straightened and sent a push back with his own power.

"I hate you!" Davina screamed.

She swung a punch towards Rhys, the heat of the moment getting to her head. But before the punch could land, Rhysand grabbed her fist and they winnowed.

—————

Davina landed on her ass in a forest clearing. Rhys stood above her, brushing off a snowflake that had landed on his shoulder. Davina shivered in the cold.

"Take me back, asshole", Davina said standing up on the snowy ground.

"No", Rhysand said, preparing himself as Davina stood.

"No?" She growled.

"You heard me", Rhys said, "you can't spend your days moping around because Azriel didn't choose you. So we are going to fight".

"Out here?! In the snow?!" Davina asked teeth chattering.

Rhysand nodded, "throw everything you've got at me. I need the practice anyway".

The idea of fighting Rhysand, of punching his smug face and picturing it was Azriel, was appealing. But Davina couldn't help but ask...

"Does Azriel know?" She hated how small her voice sounded.

"About us out here fighting? Or the mating bond?"

"The mating bond", she said teeth clenched.

Rhysand sighed, a flash of sympathy in his eyes, "no, I wasn't going to tell him for you".

Davina nodded. She wasn't sure if it was good or bad that Rhysand hadn't told him.

"I was going to tell him that night", she found herself saying.

Rhys tilted his head, frowning, "I'm sorry you had to see that".

"Maybe it's better I know now", she said, "at least I can't embarrass myself in front of him, if I already know he doesn't like me".

Rhys stepped forward and grasped Davina by the shoulders.

"It hurts", he said, "and it will hurt for a while, but you will get past it".

Davina sniffed, only now realising she was crying.

"I would've never done that to him", she said softly.

"I know", Rhys said hugging her tightly, "if it helps I did give him a thorough beating in the ring".

Davina chuckled, "that does help".

Rhys stepped back, allowing the curtains that hid his power to slide away.

"Now", he said, "let's fight".

—————

Davina wasn't sure how long they'd been fighting. But, Rhys took every punch and angry scream Davina threw his way. They had been fighting so long that Davina had even learnt how to throw up a shield using her powers.

It helped. As Davina and Rhys said their goodbyes at her apartment door, Davina realised a weight had lifted off her shoulders. And then she began cleaning. It started with just the dishes, but then she saw how many tissues were on the floor so she picked them up too. Soon, she was vacuuming and wiping down every surface in the house.

She felt renewed. Rhys was right, she couldn't let this bother her forever, she was stronger than this. So with a new sense of purpose, Davina knew she would try better tomorrow.