Beyond - Nate Jacobs

34. Beyond

Mila's POV

Everyone was here, and no one dared to speak. 

The atmosphere in the air was thick and sad, it laid above us like the earth had dumbed liters of water on us. 

The colors had vanished from the scene, our clothes matched our feelings and so did the sky. It cried with us on that very specific day. 

Ashtray's funeral. 

Fezco stood in his living room, he was wearing dress pants along with a black dress shirt. We had just returned from the graveyard, where Ash's body had been buried. 

Fezco's hands were shaking as he held up a piece of paper, Lexi was staying by his side for support, he had told us that he wanted to say a few words. 

"Hey everyone, 

Thank you for coming and supporting me through this hard experience. I know most of you didn't really know Ash but the very few of you that did, you are glad. 

Ash was not only my brother or my homie, he was my family. He was everything I could have ever wished for in a brother. Ash made me feel okay whenever I wasn't, he understood me without me having to tell him anything.

He protected me under every cost and I tried to do it as well. If you don't have a lot of family, the few you have left become more important to you, they're everything you have. 

Ashtray loved watching movies with me and I loved it too, I laid a Disc of his favorite movie into his cask so he could watch it up in heaven. 

Even though my brother has left, he's still with us. Not only is he watching above us and judging every single one of us, but he's in my heart. 

I know he'd be grateful that all of you showed up but even though he probably laughs at me right now for saying all of this shit.

All I wanted to say to you Ash, is that you are loved. You have always been and will always be, you are my brother and my partner. You have always been my number one and will forever be it. Even though you can't spend any time with us anymore, you'll keep living through our memories. Because memories are all we have.  

Thank you all for coming today", Fezco said whipping a few tears away. 

I indeed whipped a few tears away as well. We all hugged each other and hugged Fezco as well. 

It was my turn to hug him, and I did. I hugged him so tightly that I was scared he might break into half. 

"I love you kid", he smiled. "I love you too", I smiled. 

I walked over to Maddy who fixed her makeup. 

"I swear bitch, this is so sad", she mumbled. "It is", I agreed. 

"I'm grateful to call you my best friend, Mi. I want you to know that I'll always be there for you and I'd always take a bullet for you", Maddy explained. 

"I love you Mads, I would take any bullet for you", I smiled before we pulled each other into a tight hug. 

"I swear life without you was beyond sad", she muttered. "Without you too", I smiled. 

We pulled apart and joined the rest of the people.

Funerals were a weird thing, you didn't celebrate anything and yet you ate cake and just enjoyed each other company. 

It felt weird without Ashtray and Faye running around the house but I knew Ash was close by us.

- 

After about two more hours, we all decided to leave the couple on their own. Fezco needed some time for himself and his girlfriend. 

We left the house, I luckily got picked up by Nate who was also wearing all black, even though he wasn't invited. 

"Hey Mi", he smiled and pulled me into a hug. I immediately started crying because of all the overwhelming emotions that I could finally show. I tried not to cry during the funeral service because someone had to stay strong for Fez but now that I was just with Nate I could finally process all of the emotions. 

"Sh, it's okay baby", Nate whispered not letting me go. 

"If I die I don't want to regret anything. I don't want my last thought to be nothing or me regretting something", I whispered as we pulled apart, "I just wanna do what I wanna do without thinking about the consequences. I wanna feel life and I wanna feel every single moment".

"You don't have to regret anything", Nate whispered. 

I nodded and before thinking about it any longer, I placed my lips on his. 

We pulled apart and he looked at me shocked. 

"Nate Jacobs I love you today, I love you tomorrow and I will love you forever. I needed to do this because I don't want to regret not doing it", I explained. 

"I love you too Mila, always and forever".

And it was true. I loved Nate Jacobs and Nate Jacobs loved me. 

Our relationship was far from perfect but it was still beautiful, we needed to work a lot of things out but at this very moment I forgot about all those things. 

Life is too short to hold onto grutches that keep you from your loved ones. Life can end at any second so if you want to tell someone you love them, do it, if you want to punch someone, do it. 

I loved Nate more than everything. 

And I knew that even though I wanted it to change, it would never.

Nate and I were soulmates, and we loved each other beyond.

THE END