Its not that bad

27

I was watching tv with beau. He was laying on my chest awake. We were watching Bluey since Julia was over. Her dad had tried not to send her over often since Beau was born 2 weeks ago. But apparently, Amalie dropped her off to go to some back the blue thing.

I hate her so much. I never let our political opinions get in they way our friendship but now that we aren't friends i can hate her all i want.

Julia got up and walked over to me. "Auntie can i hold him?" She asked sweetly. I looked down at Beau. He was sleeping. His chubby little cheeks were squished together. His lips were open slightly. His breaths were small. God he was so cute.

"He's sleeping right now. I'll go put him in his swing." I whisper. I get up carefully holding him. I hold head carefully and walk over to his swing. I place him in carefully and buckle him so he doesn't fall out. I tuck his blanket in so he's cozy and can sleep comfy.

I walk back over to the couch. "Do you wanna snuggle with me?" I ask her. She nods and starts to walk over to me. I hold my arms out for her. She crawls into my arms carefully. Her messy head lays on my chest. I wrap my arms around her tiny body. Her hands laid on the side of my torso.

"When is MyMy coming back home?" She asked. I looked down at her. I tuck a few strands behind her ear. I sigh.

"He will be back from California in a few days and then a he'll be in london for a few weeks and then he will be home." I explain. My hands ran through her hair. I can't stand the fact that he has to be gone for a month for filming Wonka. But the month is gonna go by fast.

Hopefully

Julia looks up at me. "Do you miss him?" She asked. That hurt a bit.

"Yeah of course i do. Why do you ask that?" I ask her. I rub her back softly. She lets out a breath and moves her hair around.

"My mommy says that you are only with MyMy for his money and fame and that you don't love him. She also says that MyMy is not Beau Beau's daddy." Julia explains. I look at her like shes crazy. Amalie told her that? Why would she tell her child that.

"Julia..Don't believe what your mommy says about me. Okay? It's all a lie." I tell her a bit sternly. She nods.

"I don't. My Momma lies a lot. That's why i spend most time with my daddy." She explains. Her pointer finger drags along the cushions of our couch.

I knew that recently her father has been trying to get full custody of Julia. He got a new job that well paying and is not as time consuming as his job now, so he could spend more time with her. Julia has also came home with a few bruises from Amalie's house. Amalie's boyfriend has reported her to be abusive so That's why her father is working for full custody. Also, Amalie is known to be drunk and unstable.

I give julia a big hug. I feel so bad for her. I had to go through this as child so i can understand what shes going through. But shes so young. Only Three. She shouldn't be going through this so young.

Julia jumps up when Beau lets out a loud cry. He squirmed in his swing. His fists poked out of his blankets. They were closed tightly. He's hungry. Of course. Julia gets up off of me so i could get Beau. I walk over to him and unbuckle him. I pick him up with his blanket so he's still warm.

"It's okay." I coo at him. He squirms around in my arms. I sit down on the couch again so i could feed him comfortably. I left my shirt up and unclip my nursing bra. I start to feed him under my shirt.

Then my door bell rung. I got up carefully. I don't want to drop him. I walk to the front door. I peek through the peephole and see Julia's dad, Mark. I open the door.

"Hi Jada. Im so sorry for Amalie dropping off Julia here. I told her not to, she didn't listen." He apologizes. I brush it off.

"Its fine Mark. It hasn't been that bad." I tell him. "Want to come in?" I ask opening the door wider. He nods and comes in.

"So how's it been since having a baby?" Mark asked sliding his coat off. I sigh and pat Beaus back softly.

"It's a bit stressful but it's fun. I love being a mom." I explain. Mark takes his shoes off. I can't help but notice that he's looking at my chest. I look down and see that milk was leaking. "Oh shoot sorry. You can go hang out with Julia while i go finish this." I tell mark. He nods. I go upstairs to me and Timothée's bedroom. I grab a clean bottle off of the dresser so i can catch the leaking milk. I hate this part about breastfeeding.

I sit on my bed holding beau and a bottle all at once. I am a great multitasker. Beau reaches his hand up and claws at my boob. "Ow Beau Beau." I whine. I try to take his hand off but it stays on. I mean, Like father like son right? Beau lets go but then continues to each up to my collar bone and scratch me. This little devil.

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    I can't wait to start a new book. Omg.