Our Hill of Stars

SIDHARTH X SANJANA

✨ Agony ✨

Prompt : Sanjana gets to know about a truth, she was fearing daily, all the while.

Sanjana walked in daze, relentlessly. Darkness covered the ways, she kept turning to. How could she do this? How could she push him so far? How could she be so self absorbed that she didn't see anything beyond herself and her family's pride, she thought was on stake. And why didn't he tell her?

All this while, she has been missing all the lost time, she could have actually spent with Sid. She had been saying him to live in the moment.

"Hum is pal mein jeena chahto hai. Hum is pal ko jeena chahto hain." She said this to him yesterday. She's been so lucky, she realised. What if she has lost her Sidharth? What would have she done without him? Fight the battles while she would have lost the biggest one in her life? Or she would have been serving that bastard all her life? Vain. Futile. Meaningless. Hollow.
That's what Sanjana Dubey's life is called without a Sid in it.

"Hey! Miss pep talk?" Sidharth jumped in front of a thoughtful Sanju, startling her.

"Pep talk?" She questioned and forced a smile.

"Aajkal deep baatein karti ho, life changing types. So. Miss pep talk!" He laughed and pulled her cheeks softly.

"Sirf baatein hi to kar sakto hain hum. Usse jaada or kuch nhi." Sanjana's conscious mocked her. This man, who's standing right in front of him is no less than a blessing right now. But what she would have done without him? The question again crossed her mind.

"SANJU!" Sidharth screamed on the terrace. She saw him forwarding his hand to her, calling out to her, but before she could reach out to him, he fell.

"SIDHARTH!" Sanju yelled when Sid held her hand from the side. "Hey what happened?"
It was a nightmare. A frightening prospect. A potential reality that is no more true. A replay of what would have happened if Monami wasn't there with him, that fateful night.

Sanjana cupped the face of Sidharth. Her Sidharth. She nuzzled into his neck as she hugged him too strongly, as if he will disappear, if she won't.
It felt good. She saw life returning to her.

"Tumhe kuch ho jata to Zinda na reh pato hum..hum..hum." sid tried to calm down a overwhelmed Sanju, she was panting, she was struggling to form words, now that he just asked her about what transpired between them just a moment ago.
"I'm here Sanju. Yahi hoo mai. Calm down. Please." He brushed his hand over her face delicately. She's a doll. A warrior doll. Still so fragile that his heart tends to care for her no matter what. She makes him go insane daily. The more he's getting to know her, he's falling for her harder, he's getting concerned for her more. Because now he can't dare to loose her ever. The fear grips him too but he never cared much till this moment.

What the duck thing wavered her?

"Kya hua Sanju? Tell me now!" He asked her as she finally gulped all the water down her throat and sat on the mattress. His racing heart can rest now. At least.

"Tumne humein Kaye na batao?" She said in a low voice. Almost whispered. Sid was taken aback to see her like this. Broken. Empty. Low.

"Kya?" He asked making himself comfortable on his knees, as he sat in front of her, taking her hands in his.

"Yahi ke tum.. tum." She again lowered her voice. She almost scared sid now. He has never seen her like this. Lost and Bothered. Too much bothered.

"Main kya?" He slipped his one hand behind her head and made her lean into him. Their foreheads nudged. He liked it. She liked it too, he knows.

"Jis raat hum Bundelkhand chale gye the, tumhe chhod kar, tumne.. yaha se kudne ki koshish.." her words died in the middle as she pointed to the terrace wall. Her words were steady but while uttering the same, she felt miserable, self pity and disgusted.

Sid looked in the direction of her finger, and instantly remembered how much crumpled his heart was. That night, he almost lost his life - his Sanjana. Sid's eyes teared up and he again looked at her, held her face in a firmly and softly.

"I was too heartbroken to realise what i was doing. I know suicide is a sin, but kuch or samjh nahi aaya Sanju. I am sorry." He apologized to her because he didn't know that this would cause her so much pain. How could he do this to her?

"Sidharth tum sorry Kaye ke laane keh rho ho? Sorry to humein kehna chahiye. Hum ne vo sab Kiya, humne apne ilawa kisi ki na sochi. Sirf hum, humaye baapu ki ijjat, or samaaj ke usool." Sanjana looked away in Shame. She felt disgusted. She felt it wrong to call herself a lover, and call her feelings love because if she would have loved him, she would have never been so selfish. So blind that she didn't see anyone but herself.

But Sid gently made her look at himself. "Mujh par se apni nazar kabhi mat hatana. Nhi to is baar sach me.." before he could complete, she covered his mouth with her hand.

"Lappad khaoge ka Sidharth?" She said in a hurry and ended up crying in his arms. Sid felt her clutching his t shirt tightly. He held her close as a reflex.

"Tumhari koi mistake nhi hai Sanju. So calm down --"

"-- par humai galti se tumhe kuch ho jato to? Agar vahan Monami na hoti to? Humne tumhe kho diya hoto. Uske baad hum bhi mar jate Sidharth.." she realised, her eyes could see nothing but darkness. Everything empty. Sid hated what he was witnessing. He hated the fact that he pulled off such a bad stint which now has caused his lady love immense pain. She was blabbering while staring into nothingness. Sid felt helpless. He immediately pulled her in for a kiss. A quick one.
Sanju was taken aback. She looked at him as he retreated.

"Sidharth."

"Shut up! Kabse bole chali Jaa Rahi ho. Pehle ye batao ke tumhe ye sab kisne bataya? Us Monu ne? Uski to khair nahi.." Sid tried to make everything lighter. He wanted to make her smile but Sanju felt something shift inside her. Yes. He is alive. She is in love. She came back to him. And she isn't ever going to back off. That's the truth. Their truth.

As soon as the realisation dawned on her, Sanju let her hands clutch the collars of his t shirt. She almost lifted him a little and leaned to kiss Sid. Their lips met and Sanju fell on her back with Sid lying on the top of her. They smiled together and Sid's lips worked wonders against hers. They kissed with fervour. It was all passion. Sanju moaned in their kiss when Sid slipped the chain of her hoodie, down a little. She was excited to see what he gonna do. To her delight, Sid actually placed a tender kiss at her tattoo, just below her collar bone. "I will never leave you alone. Kabhi nahi. Esa kabhi dobara nhi hoga. I promise." A tear escaped her eyes as Sid made a life long promise and again kissed those four dots. The dots that actually connected two mad lovers from two different worlds. Both of them got aroused. This night, their fears have to be satiated. Anyhow. By any means.
Under tha shadows of that night, and a little light of stars and moon, Sid and Sanju finally made love. They romanced without worries for they realised they are soulmates - can never fall apart.