Euphoric

Incorrect Quotes [2]

Vyra, driving [Name] and Jessie: So how was your day?
[Name]: We almost got surprise adopted!
Vyra: What?
Jessie: We almost got kidnapped.
Vyra: Oh okay.
Vyra: *slams on the breaks* WHAT?!

Olivia: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Axel: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
[Name]: In that case, we're definitely lost.

[Name]: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Lukas: Mind your language!
[Name]: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???
Lukas:
[Name]: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Petra: Why are you on the floor?
[Name]: I'm depressed.
[Name]: Also I was stabbed, can you get Lukas, please?

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Jessie: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
[Name]: ...I did. I broke it.
Jessie: No. No you didn't. Lukas?
Lukas: Don't look at me. Look at Petra.
Petra: What?! I didn't break it.
Lukas: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Petra: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Lukas: Suspicious.
Petra: No, it's not!
Axel: If it matters, probably not, but Olivia was the last one to use it.
Olivia: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Axel: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Olivia: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Axel!
[Name]: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Jessie.
Jessie: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Axel: Jessie... Lukas's been awfully quiet.
Lukas: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Jessie, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Jessie: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces.
Jessie:
Jessie: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[Name]: I CAN'T DO IT!
Jessie, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
[Name]: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Lukas: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
[Name]:
[Name]: I appreciate it,
[Name]: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Petra: [Name]-
[Name]: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Ivor: [Name] we gotta-
[Name]: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
[Name]: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
[Name], motioning to Pama: NOT FUCKING THIS

Petra: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Jessie: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Olivia: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Lukas: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Axel: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
[Name]:
[Name]: I have emotional scars.

Jessie: Favorite horror movie?
Lukas: It
Petra: Saw
Axel: Annabelle
[Name]: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics

Petra: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Lukas: Several traffic violations.
[Name]: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Jessie: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Lukas: Also, that's not our car.

Olivia: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Jessie: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Axel: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
[Name]: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

Petra: Dammit, [Name]!
[Name]: What?! It wasn't me!
Petra: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Ivor!
Ivor: Not me either.
Petra: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Jessie: *whistles*

Petra: *Gently taps table*
[Name]: *Taps back*
Olivia: What are they doing?
Lukas: Morse code.
Petra: *Aggressively taps table*
[Name]: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Lukas: How did none of you hear what I just said?
[Name]: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Jessie: I got distracted about halfway through.
Axel: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[Name]: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Petra: How can you still say that?
[Name]: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Jessie: Violence isn't the answer.
[Name]: You're right.
Jessie: *sighs in relief*
[Name]: Violence is the question.
Jessie: What?
[Name], bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Jessie, running after them: NO-

Lukas: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
[Name]: Killed without hesitation.
Lukas: No.

*[Name] and Jessie sitting in jail together*
Jessie: So who should we call?
[Name]: I'd call Petra, but I feel safer in jail.