the sweetest revenge (eren x reader)

his last poem

*AUTHOR'S NOTE; y/n thinks about moments she's had with eren, & self harm is mentioned. reader does NOT self harm in this chapter, but her self harming in previous chapters is brought up, & so is colt assaulting her. please be careful reading if these trigger you, remember to take care of yourself. y/n also begins having a bad psychotic breakdown. it's not overly bad in this chapter... but it's gonna get worse. y'all know reiner? yeah, like him, just less identity crisis & more... like, the Joker crisis. i'm saying this cuz i don't wanna hear any 'y/n's being a bitch'. she quite literally just watched the love of her life get shot and killed by her mf step dad. would YOU be sane right now? didn't think soooo. also, there is a story about greek mythology in this chapter. i deadass made this whole thing up, minus the names. if you're interested in the true stories, pls look it up. what i wrote is like, completely made up. anyways. enjoy, brats!*

He knew. That's why he took you out today. He wanted you to make the pasta. That's why he said 'just one more' when he kissed you. He knew it was your going to be his last date with you. You wonder how long he's known about his inevitable fate, and why he kept it from you.

You stare at Eren's lifeless body. Pale, eyes closed, chest still, his shirt covered in his own blood.
"I'm... so sorry." you cry. You lean your head down to Eren, pressing your lips against his forehead.

"None of this would've happened if we just never met. If I had never went to the dining hall... if I wouldn't have agreed to pretending to date you to make Jean and Mikasa jealous... I'm so fucking sorry, Eren. Please... don't hate me."

You're paralyzed. This is different than seeing the scouts dead bodies; or Isabel's, or Marlowe's, or Colt's, or even Hitch's. Eren died in your arms; he took his last breath right in front of you. His last words were to you.

Tears uncontrollably fall down your face.
"Come on, Eren..." you cry out loud. You look down at your own shaky hands, Eren's blood covering them.
"Eren... please..."

You know it's no use. You know he's dead, a bullets hit his heart. You've never felt this way in your whole life. You were too young to understand your father's death, but even when your mother died... it felt different. Eren has been the only person to show you love; not a friendship love, not a family-like love. Eren showed you a love that you had never felt before. With him gone... what are you supposed to do?

Your life with him seems to flash before your eyes. You see him in the dining hall back in Shiganshina.
"Shit. What the hell do you want?" Eren's first words to you when he tripped you accidentally. You think about how he had broke your mother's plate, yet still convinced you to fake date him to make Mikasa and Jean jealous.

You see the first date he ever took you on; the library. The day you wore a skirt and nearly died when he could feel your scars.
"I'm an asshole, but not that big of an asshole. It's okay, relax."
"You don't have to explain. I just want you to know I'm not gonna make some stupid joke. If I ever do, permission is granted to stab the fuck out of me."

He never once, not on his own will at least, made you feel bad for self harming. That's one of the main reasons you fell in love with him; he never gave you a weird look, he never asked why. He also never once, once again, against his own will, made you feel shitty for having bad social anxiety.
"Squeeze me when you're feeling anxious." He had said while you two were in the bookstore.

"You're so pretty when you get all flustered like that."
"Annnnd scene. You did a great job. Good girl."
"I wanna see that flustered look on your face."
"Look at her, Historia. Isn't she the prettiest?"

Even before you two were dating, he couldn't help but let his true feelings show sometimes. You think back to the day after Reiner's house party, the day after you had cut yourself after hearing what Porco had said.