You disappeared.
Then the dogs found your body
hanging from a tree.
I understand why you did it.
But I do not approve.
It is not fair
that I wanted you alive
although you were in pain.
But you should not have killed yourself
you should not have devastated so many
you should not have devastated
me.
Me.
Because I am not that strong.
And I am self-centered.
Prone to despair.
Apt to fall into myself
for weeks on end.
And I will stop this endless crying and weeping and wailing for you.
I will forgive you
because I understand.
But you should have held on.
As others have held on.
As others still hold on.
So yes
I do not approve.
And I will not go to your funeral.
