So then...
if we stand outside of an ugly emotion
and peruse it
without guilt,
without self-recriminations
without moralizing
We can see the need
that birthed it.
So then...
this bitterness, this envy
-- and do not tell me
that suffering makes the soul purer.
It does not!--
this bitterness, this envy
rose and continue to rise
from a pure need.
Again, I will not judge myself.
I only wish to be well.
Today I saw a body move effortlessly
across the dance floor
a beautiful body full of life and joy.
I fought against envy.
Being old, I fought against despair.
Being sickly, I fought against envy and anger.
I sat and watched
and managed to rejoice
in that one's lightness and youth.
I couldn't quite hope.
But I didn't hate either.
And I managed to smile.
