solace | heejake.

011.

the sound of the waves crashing through the shore filled in their silence. none of them spoke and endured the atmosphere they have right now. not like one of them hated it. both are acknowledging each other's presence and for them... it was more than enough just knowing that one is here for the other.

ethan waited for jake to open up. the former didn't want to initiate the conversation afraid that he might say something wrong. aside from that, he's not sure of what should he say.

'whatever it is, i'll listen.' ethan said in his mind.

seconds turned into minutes but it was fine for the both of them. just sitting there beside each other, staring at the now dark sea, and listening to the waves. it was peaceful and comforting to say, at least for ethan.

"have you ever failed to pass an exam?" the younger said in a dead voice.

ethan turned his head to his left only to be welcomed by jake's side profile. breathtaking, if ethan had to describe jake in one word, it would be that. breathtaking would be one of the many beautiful words ethan can think of that would justify every feature of jake.

"many times. i even scored zero twice, or maybe thrice." ethan replied, coming out almost a whisper, as he suddenly felt his throat dry.

jake didn't bother to spare the taller a glance, "how did you feel about it?"

ethan had to reminisce for a bit, "that time... it didn't really matter. i was fine the first time. the second time it happened, i was laughing, beomgyu and i both got zero."

the younger have never felt insecure about anyone's mark until now, ridiculously at a zero mark. how can ethan be fine with that? how can even he laugh about it? was it even fun getting that score?

"how about your parents? what did they say when they found out?"

in all honesty, ethan was clueless why the younger asked him that. but it's getting clear to him, little by little.

this time, he was hesitant to answer, choosing his words carefully and still honest, "t-they... they didn't found out. if they did... i think they'll just be fine too."

"really?"

ethan nodded though jake was never looking to his direction, "yeah. i never intended to do that, anyway."

"good for you."

"how about you? bet you've never failed an exam or even a quiz once." ethan asked just to keep the conversation going but instantly regretting it when the younger spoke.

"that's exactly how everyone thinks. because i am the top student, everyone expects that in everything i do, i do it perfectly. everyone anticipates highly of me."

the older felt guilty as he expected a lot from the younger too. but he didn't mean it as a bad thing. ethan said it because he believes jake can.

ethan remained quiet, jake has still a lot to let out. he knows, he feels that it's been bottling up inside jake for a long time.

"every time i've done something to reach the bar, it just rises again, so i have no choice but to climb up. i reach it then i climb up again when it rises. over and over again." there was bitterness in jake's voice.

"i just keep on doing that as if i'll never reach the top. the burden on my shoulder just keeps getting heavier. the standards are set so high that it's so hard to reach. and when you're already there, it'll just keep getting higher even more."

ethan gently pulled jake for a hug when the latter's voice broke, stroking his hair gently while saying, "go on, jake. let it out. i'm listening, gab is here."