All Your Strength- Levi X Reader (SH, Depression)

Chapter 8

The dining hall was it's usual loud self. Groups of people sitting together at tables, eating "lunch" if you could call it that. Today's meal was a cup of water, one bread bun and a tiny piece of fish that took no more than two bites to finish.

You sat with your usual squad. Armin, Eren, Mikasa, and Ymir on one side of  the table, and Connie, Jean, yourself and Krista on the other. Across from you was Eren. He kept looking over at you, with this strange look in his eyes.

"So how was the punishment yesterday y/n" Krista asked innocently beside you.

Nearly choking on your bread, face going beet red you turned to her with an annoyed look. Your brows furrowed as you slightly shook your head.

"What punishment" Eren asked eagerly, leaning forward, elbows resting on the table, chin in hands.

You hadn't told anyone for a reason... You didn't need the questions and jokes from the others about your punishment with Captian Levi.

"Fuck sakes Krista..."  you cursed at her in your head.

"It was nothing really. That night we all got drunk, he walked me back to my room and I split his tea. Grumpy old man was pretty upset. He made me run Laps all yesterday" you didn't feel the need to go into any more detail.

"Well what time did you finish, we didn't see you at dinner" Jean's tone was suspicious.

"Uhh i don't remember? It was late, I took a shower and then went right to bed" You hoped everyone would believe your lie

Krista shot you a confused look, she was asleep when Levi walked you back, she knew you were lying to everyone.

You reached under the table and grabbed her hand. Squeezing it, you looked at her sideways and slightly shook your head. No one noticed as they had already began sharing stories about their worst punishments. She squeezed it back, understanding what you were doing.

Everyone finished lunch and made their way to the chore board. Each day you were assigned a different chore, the only days you didn't were those when titan training was happening. Looking at the board you were assigned dishes today.

"Uhhhh I hate dish duty!" You moaned.

A strong arm wrapped around your shoulders. Ginger and cedar, Eren.

"Hey cheer up, I'm your partner today, it wont be so bad" He laughed and looked down at you. Looking up to meet his turquoise eyes, you smiled and elbowed him playfully in the ribs.

"Fine lets go" You started off towards the kitchen.

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Around two hours later, a mountain of clean dishes and pruney fingers you and Eren chatted away in the kitchen together.

You were sitting on the counter top, a habit you've done since you were little. Chairs were overrated! Eren stood leaning against the fridge across the room from you.

"So what're your plans for the rest of the afternoon" Eren asked while he dried a plate

"I don't know, I have some laundry I need to get done" you thought about Levi's shirt that you hid under your pillow this morning.

"BORING!" Eren threw the towel at you

"OH well sorry Mr. Fun, whatre you doing this afternoon!?" Your voice playful and teasing

"I don't know but it's better than laundry!" He smirked at you

Throwing the towel back at him, he didn't see it coming and it hit him right in the face! You burst out laughing, covering your mouth trying not to be too loud. He pushed off the fridge and ran over to you! His strong hands instantly started tickling you. On your ribs, neck, armpits. Literally everywhere. He started laughing as he was relentless, you were screaming for him to stop it tickled so much!

"OH my God, stop, stop! Seriously!" Your voice filled with panic as the tickles became too much.

A loud bang emerged through the kitchen as the door swung open with such force you thought it was going to fall off. Raven hair caught your eyes as it flew into the room.

Levi stood there hand grasping his Swords handle, like he was ready to strike someone down that second. Eren removed his hands from you, wide eyes meeting those of Captin Levi. Eren gave him a quick Salute.

"Captian Levi, sorry Sir. We just finished our chores."

Levi's eyes shifted between you and Eren and back again. His posture relaxed and he removed his hand from the sword. He squeezed between his eyes at the bridge of his nose.

"Tch. You know how loud the two of you were... Annoying fucking brats. Get out of here the both of you." He opened the door, holding it for you to leave.

"Sorry sir" you and Eren responded at the same time. Throwing the towel on the counter you walked behind Eren.

Levi refused to make eye contact with you as you walked through the door he held open. Eren and yourself started walking through the empty dining hall toward the central Court yard outside.

His hand suddenly grabbed yours. You were in total shock, he continued walking as if nothing was the matter. Looking up at him, he had a slight smile on his face. He turned his head towards you, looking down to meet your eyes.

"Shorty is a bit more grumpy today, don't you think!" Eren chuckled quietly, still holding your hand.

Looking back towards the kitchen you saw Levi leaning against the same door, staring in your direction. It was hard to tell but you swore you saw his hands clenched into fists at his side. He turned when he saw you looking, pushing the door with such force once again it echoed through the hall.

A small hint of pain stabbed you in the stomach. The kiss with Levi last night, Eren holding your hand now. Your head was swimming with so many thoughts it was becoming too much. What was going on, why were these two men acting so strange.

You don't deserve to feel loved. Whore, who could ever love you. These men want to use you. That's all you'll ever be good for. Slut, cut, cut, CUT!

The voices were loud! It was flooding your ears you didnt even hear Eren when he asked you a question.

Shaking your head you realized you were standing outside in the center courtyard. Eren looked at you with a confused expression.

"Y/n did you hear me? I said...."

You cut Eren off "I'm so sorry i have to go"

You let go of his hand and began running towards the dorms. Levi was pissed at you, what the fuck was Eren doing. You thought about what Levi said last night...

"Talk to me before you cut again"

Fuck that... he's pissed right now. These voices won't shut up... im sorry Captian but I have to break our promise.

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Flinging your dorm door open the voices were screaming at you by this point. You flew into the room, opened the closet door and grabding your toiletry bag. You nearly had a heart attack when you closed the closet and Krista was standing right there.

"FUCK KRISRA! You scared me" you let out a breathe.

"Why didn't you tell the others about the punishment. And why did you lie about missing dinner and going to bed? You weren't here when I went to bed. So what's going on" She seemed rather upset, knowing that she caught you in a lie.

"Honesty Krista I don't have time for this. I'm going to shower, see ya"

You walked out slamming the door behind you. Practically running to the bathroom, the voices relentlessly telling you to

Cut.

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