All Your Strength- Levi X Reader (SH, Depression)

Chapter 12

Levi sat at his desk doing paperwork, every now and then sneaking glances over at you.

After finishing the Tea and laying on the couch daydreaming, you decided to scope out the massive bookshelf. It covered an entire wall of the office, dark brown wood matched the desk and other furniture in Levi's office. It contained mostly older books, with worn covers and stained pages. They all had that distinctive 'old' smell. You trailed your fingers along the spines, head tilted to the side to read the titles of them.

"Have you read all of these?" You asked

"Most of them, yeah" Levi replied

"Wow.... I guess since you're an old man you've had lots of time to read" you teased.

"Tch. Shut up brat"

You giggled, there is was again. 'Brat', you loved the way he said it too.

Looking at all the books you started to feel overwhelmed. You paused, turning your head straight again.

"Which one is your favorite..." your face felt red when you asked him. Would he tell you? Fuck you regretted asking him such a personal question.

Levi's chair scuffed on the ground, footsteps approached you as he came up behind you. You felt his presence right against your back. A strange tension between you...

His hand came from around your waist, he grabbed a small black book right in front of you. Holding it by your stomach he leaned in, his hair grazing your cheek. His lips right by your ear.

"This one. Now no more questions. Sit down and read quietly" He whispered into your ear.

You took it from him, your fingers touching his slightly. Free of the book, Levi's hand caressed against your stomach, along your side, and then vanished.

Something tingled deep within you, your face still red, heart picking up its pace a bit. Pressing your legs together trying to ignore the wetness you suddenly felt below.

"Whats it about?" Your voice quiet. He was still leaning in your ear, his chest making contact with your back.

"You'll have to find out" his voice like velvet.

He pulled away and turned back to his desk. Sitting down he started his paperwork again. Standing there for a moment you admired the book. A small smile met your lips.

Waking over to the couch you plopped down, pulled a blanket over your lap and began reading.

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Five minutes in you realized you were reading an instruction manual on ODM gear!

"Are you fucking serious!" You belted out. Looking over at Levi with an annoyed face, he was looking down at his papers with the biggest smile you've seen on him.

He started chuckling, lifting his head to look at you.

"What can I say, I'm an old man right. I find ODM manuals very exhilarating..."

"Fuck you!" You laughed back, throwing your head back smiling. Suddenly you felt a little tired. The clock read 2:35pm. You'd only been up for a couple of hours, but your body was exhausted.

"I'm going to take a nap, I'm feeling drained" you got up off the couch.

"Dismissed" Levi's tone was a hint playful. He continued to work at his desk while you walked to the bedroom. Flopping down on the soft bed you snuggled under the duvet. You chuckled to yourself thinking about the book.

What an Asshole

You smiled and inhaled the scent of his sheets, lavender. You drifted off to sleep. But once again, the nightmares gripped your unconscious mind. Digging their nasty fingers in, making you relive your past horrors once again.

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You had the dream about the man in the underground again. How he violated your body, made you feel less than shit. Again you tried to scream, but no sound left your mouth. Thrashing against his body you got a hand free and punched him in the face.

"OWW! FUCK Y/N WAKE UP!!!!"

Your eyes shot open, screams leaving your throat raw and sore. Levi was over you shaking your shoulders, his nose bleeding a bit.

"Y/n its okay! You're having a nightmare, relax, stop screaming"

Your voice quieted. You stopped thrashing against Levi's grip. Your eyes wide, grey ones meeting you with worry. Sitting up you threw yourself into Levi's chest. His arms wrapping around you gently. You could hear his heart racing. Tiny tears formed in your eyes.

"Im sorry" you whimpered.

"Its fine, don't apologize. It's just a nightmare. I get them too" his voice so soft. Levi traced small circles around your back. You pulled away from his chest to look at him. He took a moment to grab a tissue from the side table and dab his bleeding nose.

"Fuck sorry about your nose... and you have nightmares too?" wiping a tear away from your eyes.

"Mhh hmm" He nodded

"What are they about." You regretted asking the moment it left your lips.

Levi shrugged. "I've lost alot of people in my life y/n. Every one of their deaths haunts me. And growing up in the underground didn't make things any easier. I've seen horrible things. Things a person shouldn't have to..."

"I'm sorry Levi" you rested your head on his chest again, his heart rate slowing slightly.

"Tch. It's fine... I've learned to deal with them." He said

Eagerly you asked "HOW?"

He shrugged again. "I just don't sleep"

Looking up at him in disbelief you furrowed your brow at him. "What...?"

"I think you heard me... I just don't sleep. Well maybe an hour or two a night" His voice flat

"Mhhh" your face twisted in confusion.

Then why this expensive bed, these luxurious sheet. It didn't make sense...

You laid back down on the bed, still exhausted. Levi sat on the edge, one hand resting on your back.

"Okay y/n try and get some sleep. I'll wake you when dinner is here." He went to leave but you reached for his hand.

"Captian..... can you stay with me for a while...." your voice barley a whisper

Silence. Levi didn't move, he didn't say anything, he just sat there. You looked up to meet his gaze, your eyes begging for comfort.

"Ughh, move over." He moved onto the bed, laying on his side behind you.

You shifted over giving him some room. Also on your side, facing away from him you felt some space between your bodies. Taking a deep breath you reached behind, finding his arm and giving it a tug towards you.

Levi's body closed the gap, his chest pressing against your back, legs twisting together. His nose pressed into your hair. You hummed gently at the embrace.

Lifting his body slightly to press his lips against your ear, he whispered.

"Sleep, brat"

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