Each other's forever (Ranboo x oc) -finished-

In your arms (Chapter 13)

TW//Self harm, mentions of harrassment and sexual assault, su!c!de attempt

If anything of that triggers you, skip this chapter or skip to the very end.

Another month. Another month of unbearable harassment and abuse. Mentally and physically. I eventually fell back into my rabbit hole of self-harming, I lost count of how many days it's been since them. I had been constantly wearing long sleeves, but it wasn't suspicious since it was winter. I head home after another day of hiding everything from the boy I loved. I had realized I loved him, and it hurt so much knowing I can't tell him anything. He asks me how I'm doing but I always lie, the same old response every time 'I'm okay'. Eli hadn't gone to school almost all week except Monday, so it was all getting bad. I don't know if I could take it any longer, today was the day I had planned to... well. I walk home silently, music playing in my ears. My arms were sore today, I had gotten punched in them. And the guy was there too, every single day Eli wasn't. He would only really just forcefully make out with me but either way it was horrible. And some days he would go.. farther.

I make it home and look around, taking everything in. I set my stuff down in my room and go into my bathroom, getting the razor. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5 on one arm. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5 on the other. I clean the dripping blood and put on a fresh hoodie. I grab my phone and earbuds and head out the door. I take a walk around a park close to my home, breathing in the crisp winter air. Christmas was coming soon, but it wasn't worth it. My mom wasn't even going to be home then, she left on another business trip a couple days ago. My mom doesn't even care, she probably won't even fly in when she finds out. My poor sister, but she'll make it through. And Eli. I'll write him a cheesy, cliche confession note. I feel bad but he wouldn't feel the same anyway. I make it to a bench and sit down, music ringing through my ears and the wind blowing around me, making it seem as though the trees and grass are dancing to my music. The gray winter sky comforts me, almost allowing me to take a break from life.

I sigh and look around the lifeless looking park. No one was there since it was rather cold. The occasional people were walking their dog, they would wave and continue on with their day. I would smile kindly at them. I see squirrels running freely through the fallen leaves and up into the trees, most likely on their way to hibernate. Birds flocking through the sky in a 'v' formation or others that had already migrated here and aren't leaving. A red bird flies through the trees and eventually stops at a tree, settling there. I smile, taking it all in before standing up and heading back to my house. The walk back was equally as calm, letting me enjoy life for once in the quiet. Of course I'd enjoy it when I was with Eli, but it wasn't every day I got to take it all in by myself. I make it back to my house and walk in, greeted by the warmth of the heater. I take off my coat and get up to my room, grabbing paper and sitting down at my desk with a pencil. I realize I hadn't streamed in a couple days, streaming had become my escape from reality some days and I would miss it. I slowly begin writing, first to my sister.

Hey sis, I'm sorry. I really am. I wasn't strong enough. I wish I could've told you but I don't want to burden you. I really hope you can continue to be happy without me. I know you love me and know I love you as well, tell mom I love her too when she comes home. Enjoy Christmas without me, I'm sorry I couldn't celebrate it with you. I shipped you something that will arrive on Christmas so you still have a gift :) Just try and move on, I wasn't significant. No need to spend time thinking about what you could've done to change things. It isn't your fault, I just can't keep everything up. I love you and always will, even as I'm not here, don't forget that, Bye sis, thank you for everything, I could never repay you.. <3

Dear Eli,

Well, I'm glad I met you. I am so happy that I had the chance to spend time with you and know you in this life and I hope to meet you again in the next life, hopefully I'll stay there. I wish I could've told you everything but I just can't. I'm sorry I lied and broke the promise. I'm really sorry to leave you but I don't like living anymore. I am so sorry but believe me, you made me the happiest I ever was. I wish I had the guts to tell you this in person but Eli, I love you. So much. With all my heart I love you and wish I could be held in your arms. I love you and will miss you. Don't spend too much time missing me, please be happy. I will always be looking over you. I'll remember all the times we spent together. I am so very grateful to have met you. If not in this lifetime then the next, that is a promise I won't break. I love you idiot. <3

And with that I put down the pencil. I grab a rope I had found in the shed in our backyard and tie it to my fan. I wrap around a big enough hole to put my head through and tears run down my face. Flashes of everything good flooding my brain and I let out a sob. I wish I was stronger and that Britney didn't get to me.. But... I'm just a weak, helpless little girl who isn't a fighter. I tried. And with that..

Eli pov

I knocked on the door but got no answer, I had texted August but got no response. I knocked again and again but no answer. I frowned. I had come back early to surprise her and I was going to take her somewhere. I knock again but no answer. I hesitantly turn the door knob and the door creaks open. I look at it to see her school bag on the floor, shoes on the mat, and coat hung up. She must be home. I walk in but there is no sound of anything. I raise an eyebrow but take off my shoes before walking up the stairs. I look to see August's door closed. I walk up and hear nothing so I knock. No answer. I then open the door and peek in. I look in and see something I never thought I would. I swing the door open and stand there shocked as the tear stained face of August looks up at me, rope hanging right in front of her. She was standing on a chair and we both stared at each other, shocked. I then run to her and wrap my arms around her tightly, never wanting to let go.

"August.. Please no.." My voice breaks as I speak a and start crying. She wraps her arms around me just as tight and begins to cry on my shoulder. I pick her up off the chair and sit her on the bed in my lap.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." She repeats in between sobs.

"It's okay August I'm here." I say softly, holding her close. I rub her back and kiss her head while another tear runs down my face. "Why.." My voice breaks again as I speak.

"I- Its-" She pauses. "I just- I couldn't take it all anymore. Getting abused and assaulted and.. Threatened. I couldn't do it anymore." She sobs into my chest. I cry more.

"I am so sorry. I am so so sorry." I whisper to her. I knew it was Britney.

"She would do something every day and I lied to you- I wasn't okay.. And the days you weren't there that creepy guy would be there and- and he would.." She stops and cries. I knew what she meant. We are both a mess at this point.

"I am sorry.. I would've helped if I would've known but it's okay. I'm here now. Please stay." My voice breaks once again at the last part. "Please don't leave me" I cry quietly, holding her tighter.

"Okay.." She says quietly, calming down a bit. "I'll stay. For you." She says as her teary eyes meet mine.

"I love you.. August I love you." I say quietly, not breaking eye contact. She smiles slightly, tears stopping.

"Eli, I love you too." She says and buries herself into me. I hold her in my arms but look to the side.

"Are those notes?" I ask and she sits up again and nods. I grab one and it has my name on it. "Can I read it?" I ask and she looks at me for a moment before nodding. I unfold it and read. I tear up and a couple tears fall as I read this. "August." I whisper and hug her tightly again, setting the note on the desk.

"At least you stopped me so you aren't actually reading that when I'm dead." She says as she lays in my arms once again. We lay down in the bed, enjoying each other's embrace.

"I'm glad I found you in time. I'm glad you're here with me." I whisper in her ear and kiss her head.

"I am too now." She says with a soft smile and puffy eyes. She then buries her face into my chest. I smile, holding back tears. "I love you." She mutters.

"I love you too. Get some rest." I mutter back and she hums a response. I closed my eyes with August in my arms again, relieved I came back early to surprise her. If I hadn't then she wouldn't be here right now. I let out a quiet sigh and unconsciously tighten my arm around her, scared that if I let go I'll actually lose her. No one will ever have any idea how glad I am to have her here with me at this moment and to still have her in my life, hopefully forever more.