Duskwood- One shot collection

Depression

MC's POV

"It's getting really hard and I just can't do it anymore, doctor."

"MC, you are making yourself believe that you are loosing but you're not."

"It's easy for you to say but I just... Feel so lonely. I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see Richy dying in front of me. Hannah is still missing and I lost both my parents in that Aweful accident. It's a lot. I am so alone. All my Duskwood friends are already so worried and I don't want to tell them about my condition."

"You should really talk to someone about this dear, you are a strong girl and I know you will overcome this."

"I have no one to talk to."

"But what about you boyfrien-"

"I don't know if I can even call him that anymore. We live under the same roof but he's always glued to his laptop. I feel like I don't even exist for him."

"That's not true. How will he know what you're going through if you don't tell him?"

"I can't, doctor. I can't tell you why but he's already in a lot of mess and I don't want to burden him more."

"This is your problem, MC. You always think about others before your own self. As much as that is a good trait, but sometimes it's better to share your problems with the people you trust. I would still advice you to talk to someone but again, it's your call."

***

I stopped at the pharmacy to buy my anti depressants. My depression has gotten worse since my parents left. I feel so useless and lost. I feel like there is nothing in my world left but darkness. Hannah is still missing and I keep receiving threatening phone calls from MWAF.

Jake and I have been living together for 3 months now. I suggested him that I go to Duskwood to help the group with Hannah's case and he surprised me when he knocked at my door one night. We have been working together since then and our relationship deepened but now, I feel it breaking.

***

I opened the door and immediately spotted Jake sitting on the exact same spot on the couch, working on his laptop, when I saw him last before leaving in the morning.

"Hey Jake." I smiled at him. He glanced at me and nodded but didn't say anything. I sighed. It's going on like this since a very long while and I can't even express how frustrated I am with this. I know he is working to keep his pursuers away and also find clues for finding Hannah but it doesn't hurt to say a 'hi' back, does it? So I snapped. I needed to vent my anger and frustration.

"It's Okay if you don't want to be with me anymore. No one is forcing you to stay here, Okay? You are allowed to walk out whenever you want but stop pretending like I don't even exist. You barely acknowledge my presence and you don't realise it but I feel like trash! Do I not matter to you anymore, Jake?"

He looked shocked and was taken aback. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

"Save it! I am done with your excuses! Just leave me alone!"

And I stormed off into my room. I dropped my bag down and walked towards the window. I was drowning in my office work and my job was at risk but I couldn't concentrate on anything. There are always a thousand things going on my mind.

I stared out of the window, at the beautiful scenery in front of me. The sun was about to set and the sky was blending in a beautiful shade of orange and blue. The birds were flying and chirping, laughter of little children playing in the park and people chatting was echoing around the surroundings. The tree branches were moving swiftly due to the gentle wind that was blowing. It was all so soothing.

I was taking in all the beauty of nature. It was exceptionally beautiful. But inside my own body, which was in complete turmoil. I was engulfed in darkness. I felt like a dead soul just.. Breathing for the sake of it. Depression is like living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that wants to die. It's a constant battle, a battle against your own self. And there's only a limit to which one can stand strong. My walls are breaking, my heart is cracking and each crack makes me loose a bit of myself.

I am done. I just.. Can't fight it anymore. I just want to be free from all of this. This is not a life I ever wanted. I have been fighting for too long now but it's time that I give up.

I surrender.

Jake's POV:

It hurt to hear all those words from her mouth. I know I was hurting her but I was doing this for us. For Hannah. I felt just as miserable doing this as her. But my pursuers were hot on my trails and Hannah was still no where on my radar. No clues are pointing to any definite direction. I wanted a break from all of this too.

I closed my laptop and took a deep breath. I needed to make it up to her. I have tortured her enough and I don't want to do that anymore. She's just as stressed about everything as I am.

I got up and starting walking towards our room. 3 months ago, when I had decided to live with her, I had not imagined that I would find myself falling more deeper for her. She's an amazing person. Her smile is just so charming and reassuring. Her eyes sparkle everytime she smiles. At the start she was so full of life and confident that we would find Hannah, but her charm had been decreasing and it completely died with her parents' death. She was left devastated and I felt so helpless. I now realise, that I had not been there to console her properly. I know exactly the pain of having no parents yet I left her to deal with it alone.

I opened the door and what I saw in front of me, left me paralysed. It was the most horrifying scene of my life. I felt something inside of me crack at the sight of her body, lying there on the floor, lifeless.

There was a bottle lying on the floor along with some pills spilled out. There were a few pills in her hand as well. I felt like all the wind Inside of my system had been knocked out when I saw that these pills were anti depressants. She was in depression and she didn't tell me.

Maybe she tried but you never let her to.

There was a letter crumbled near her. I picked it up and read it.

"Dear Jake

I am so sorry that I am doing this. Trust me I never wanted to do this but I don't see any other option. I feel so hopeless and lost. I have tried everything to fight with this inner demon of mine, but I am overpowered now. I really want Hannah and Richy to be safe. I know you will find them, even without me. Tell the group that I love all of them. They were those amazing friends I thought I could never have. Everything has an end. I chose my own end. I fought for too long, Jake. Trust me I did. But I cannot continue anymore. Please don't feel that this is your fault because it's not. Destiny made me meet an amazing person like you. Who thought I could fall for a hacker who never even showed me his face or even made me hear his real voice. But I did. I fell for you. I love you, Jake. I always did and I always will. Please take care.

Your MC."

"NOOO!!!" I cried out. I took her in my arms and hugged her tight. I was crying. She's not here anymore. She.. She left me. Why did she leave me alone? Is this the punishment she gave me for not talking to her? If I could reverse back the time, I would have done just that. I would have done anything just to see her alive. It is my fault! I failed to see how troubled she was. I failed her and I failed myself.

The world around me was suddenly all so dark. Why was I even alive now? My life, my love... She's.. She's lying in my arms.. Dead. There is no coming back from death. I cried and screamed with her still in my arms. I screamed her name again and again hoping that she would wake up... But she never did. She was... Long gone.