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Nov/Dec 1975

I sat here waiting for Sirius as he made his way back from Hogsmeade. He told me to wait for him at this time. That was 45 minutes ago.

"He'll be here, Liz, give him a minute."

"I've given him forty-five '' I grunted towards Lily as she looked down at her watch repeatedly.

"I always tell him not to drink too much but he never listens does he?" I sighed. "He just needs to prove, show off to all the girls. Mary looked at me. Look at how much I can drink. I don't care about my life. I'm such a bad boy. Look at me!"

She looked at me withholding her laughter and was about to open her mouth when,
  "I'm here. I'm here!" Sirius sang as he ran towards me.

He wrapped his arms around my hips and nuzzled his head in between my neck and shoulder but I remained still, biting my bottom lip. I had been letting him too easy, Lily was right.

He let go of me then scratched the back of his neck, "sorry, I'm late Lizzy. It's just I was with Mary at Hogsmeade and you know-"

I looked up at him. His hair was out of place, his cheeks were pinkish and his uniform was a mess too. I felt my face shrivelled up in disgust.

"Whatever" I replied and pulled my hand away from his hand, which was placed on his chest and walked off with Lily as she ignored James calling for her.

"Hey Remus", I greeted him as I sat next to him. He smiled back and then continued reading his book. Lily moved to sit opposite us on the table, followed by James and then Sirius.

Lily opened her books and started studying, with James, who constantly got distracted by Sirius. I looked up at him, several times; eventually he got the hint and waved his hands up in surrender leaning back on his chair, with that smirk. That same smirk which dropped several girls on the ground. Problem is, he was leaning in my direction. I could smell the dark oak and frosted lavender, from his hair. I could not help but smile. He had not changed. That was his childhood shampoo. His perfume too. Rich mahogany and black teakwood. He lifted his leg up in the air, in an attempt to startle me but for some reason I did not even realise it. I was so focused on the surrounding scent around me... his scent. When he did it again, I snapped back into reality. "Sirius'' I grunted and pushed his leg away from me, "Don't."

I read the chapter assignment for arithmancy but I did not understand it. I turned to ask Remus and just when he was about to read it, Sirius grabbed it and my chair, moving it towards his. "I'll help you Lizzy." he looked at the book and pretended to be deep in thought, emphasis on pretend. "Just because I don't study anymore doesn't mean you shouldn't. No. Everyone should follow Remus. Be like dear old Remus." he said and gave him a wide grin. Remus merely blushed and attempted to cover his face with his book.

I ran my hands through my hair, merely out of pure frustration. He was not helping at all.

...We were just friends, that spoke like lovers and that seemed enough...

Every time a girl walked by, giggling like some stupid little girl, he would wink or smile at them and they giggled even more. "Do you need something to drink Samantha? I can hear you too, choking away like something thirty little-"

"Lizzy, you need help on arithmancy?" lily spoke up and I nodded. Just as I was about to get up and move, Sirius grabbed my arm and pulled me back in my seat. "I'll help her lily. The only thing you need to worry about is..." he did not finish his sentence because his eyes glanced towards James, who had his head deep into his book but he was aware they were talking about him because he had a smug grin wiped across his face. I tried to protest but he would not stop begging so I sat down and he opened the book. I saw he wore my ring, my face softened.

When he caught me glancing, I heard him shuffle towards me, "you think I would forget this beautiful present?" The warmth of his breath sent a cascade of shivers down my spine, across my arms. My goosebumps were getting goosebumps. I turned to reply, our faces were mere inches away from each other and he pushed back a loose strand of my hair, tucked it beneath my ear. "I-"

"OH SIRIUS YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE DAY I HAD TODAY!"

Mary stomped into the library, as the librarians hushed her to be quiet as she sped up, practically running towards us. Sirius glanced towards her but returned back to me. I swore, I could feel his face move towards mine.

... for two teenagers that were scared to love one another.

just when Mary grabbed a chair and pushed it right between us, which pushed my chair away from Sirius, hitting Remus's chair. "Sorry" I mumbled to him, he nodded and smiled, "Arithmancy?" I nodded.

We were doing fine. We were doing so well but now it was not even just me. All of us could not study now. I watched lily make casual glances towards them because it was simply infuriating how they could not keep their mouths closed. Mary no longer sat on her chair anymore. No. She had found a much better place. She was sat on Sirius's lap. She would not stop laughing like the donkey she was at every joke he made or anything that came out of his mouth really. She was only silent when his lips were on hers. I saw Remus was becoming quite agitated by this too.

"Will you two stop it?" I blurted out, "some of us actually have work to do here. We take things seriously around here."

"Actually Lizzy if anything I'm-"

"I don't care. You want to stick your tongue down Mary's throat. Go for it. You want to stick your throat down a thousand other girls' throats. Go for it. There's loads here." I said and pointed my hand across the room.

I watched him, he pushed Mary off his lap and reached out towards me but I moved back. I grabbed my bag and raced out of the library. I was in such a rush to just get away from Sirius and Mary, I did not realise it. Him. I walked right into him. Luckily for me, he paused in his steps, so that he did not fall, or that I did not fall. "Thank you" I muttered under my breath, until I recognised the green robes. I looked up and saw it was Regulus. He nodded and instantly continued walking, as if nothing had happened. As if his lips did not just falter, as if his eyes did not just soften when he glanced at me. Why?

I raced back to the common room and paced towards my room. I closed the door, threw my back on the floor. Then I took a look at myself in the mirror and I guessed why he was looking at me like that. My mascara was just all stained, making my dark circles look so much worse than they normally were.

I heard the door open behind me, I turned ready to yell at Sirius but then my shoulders relaxed. It was just Lily. She held my books that I left in the library. I took them from her, "thank you."

"Care to explain then?" she asked.

"Explain what?" I asked her as I washed my face. She followed me into the bathroom, leaning against the edge of the door.

"Explain, why did you act that way?" she asked, "or why did you react towards Mary and Sirius?"

I dried my face using the towel and put it back, then jumped onto my bed. "I really don't," I responded. She crawled over and lifted the pillow that my head was resting on. Just from her face, I could tell she was not going to give up.

"Fine" I groaned, "but Lily if you tell a soul, even James. I swear"

"My lips are sealed..." she said eagerly, "now spill."

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