twenty one

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December 1976

Several months passed away and I had not spoken to regulus since. I wanted to tell Sirius about my concern that Regulus was being forced to join his parents but he seemed stress with other situations, in particular with the rise in disappearances which led James to act out hysterically concerned for lily.

The Christmas holidays came and James invited me but I kindly declined despite his emphasis, alongside Sirius. Truth remained that I wanted to stay at Hogwarts, in the naive hope that Regulus would talk to me. Sirius understood as he told me in the Common Room that he was sent home, as he had received a letter earlier from his mother.

He grabbed my wrist as I turned, "think twice Lizzy before you act."

The sky was tar-black, and the large clouds moved towards me, covering every inch of the black sky. Puddles plinked as the rainfall became heavier. The winter sky was a widow's sky, bedarkened and weeping. The clouds were churlish and kraken cruel. They coughed out great gouts of water and thinking balloons of sopping moisture. It teemed down in a biblical deluge, flooding the rivers, drowning the fields, and overflowing the dams. The rain was incessant. It snapped and crackled like bracken pods in a bushfire. The floodgates in the sky had been opened but no-one was there to close them back up, it seemed.That was what it felt like. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. My mother opened it, her vision froze as she saw me. She tried to close the door but my father intervened.

"Perfect timing" he smirked. I walked in hesitantly. "I take it you choosing to come here assures me you are no longer blinded by the wrong path."

"I- "

"Go and get dressed, we have to leave for dinner. The black family are expecting your mother and I. Alongside you now" he smiled as my mother helped me.

We arrived at Malfoy manor and I followed my parents and greeted everybody else but him. I looked around and I could not find him.

I waited for my parents until they indulged into further conversation and walked out as fast I could to look for him. I walked around the ground floor, into different rooms until I recognised his hair but something was different. In an unusual way. His entire attire was black different to what he wore on a regular. He stared outside the window, and in his reflection I saw the dimed light in his eyes.

I cleared my throat and he turned around. I remembered his gaze softened instantly but shock remained spread across his face.

I stepped forward towards him and closed the door, our gazes fixed on each other. "Just because you're dressed differently does not mean you're not regulus black."

He held his softened gaze and smirked. "Maybe I'm not anymore."

I turned around towards the window and heard the echoes of his mother's laughter in the room next door, which broke our gaze. I reached out to hold his hand but I paused and looked up at him again, "you should have told me something was wrong." I paused, "I should have noticed as your..." I stuttered as I watched Regulus clench and unclench his jaw. "I should have figured it out, that they were hurting you."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I'm surprised you have not hurt me already."

I could not help but laugh. "I have, many times in my dreams," I smiled at him, which he returned, "But if you were really hurt or suffering I would want to know. Even if we were not talking. I would still want to know. The moon and the stars, Regulus."

He nodded, smiling but immediately shook it off, when he heard his father's voice in the background from the room next door. What followed was pin drop silence as I fought the urge to intertwine my hand and my body with his and kiss his scars away.

He fixed the collar of his blazer and tucked his smile away under his scars and layers. "A time comes Elizabeth when you have to realise you cannot live in this dream. Eventually you have to become who you are supposed to be. You cannot fight destiny. That is your fate. It is a chance to finally earn people's respect, maybe even love-"

I felt my insides boil, I could not take it anymore. "Someone did- does..." I paused as I watched his face, focused on mine anticipating my next word. "Someone did love you. Very much and you owe it to her not to run away or ignore your past and relations from your past."

"And what if I've destroyed the only thing I've ever loved."

I stepped forward towards, I could feel his warm breath on the top of my head as I lifted my head to look at him. I waited, nervous on what to respond. I took my necklace that he had given me that hung on my neck, in hope that he indirectly understood the message.

"Then fix it" I whispered and he switched his gaze to my face.

He looked up at the ceiling, and held his breath for a couple of seconds then returned his gaze on me, "your world would be easier if I did not come back."

I stood, shocked at that response. Harsh reality was that I understood where he came from but I would not let this stop us. If two people are meant for each other they will always find their way back.

I held my tears back, "I went to war with myself. For you." I pointed at him and he took my hand and enveloped it with his. "Why don't you see that? Regulus, my world would not be my world without you in it." I looked at the sky. "I told the stars about you, and now even the universe cannot stop screaming your name." Whenever I stared at the night sky, I grew to instantly recognise his constellation. Sirius's constellation disappeared. I turned stared at our hands, and looked up at him, my bottom lip quivered, "we'll survive this Regulus. And more. You and I. If two people are meant for each other they'll find their way back."

"Why?" He directly responded.

I paused and my breath faltered as I stared at his forest green eyes. Not emerald, Forest green. Because when he looked at me with that gaze, anticipating what was to come out of my mouth I did not feel nervous. For in his eyes, there remained a kind of green that spoke to the soul of nature, of fresh wands of grass and new buds that bought comfort the self. "Because I love you, whole heartedly, more ardently." His grip on my hands dropped just as I reached to touch his face. As his lips spoke words but I did not understand as my vision became blurry. He shook his head, again, avoiding my eyes. I fell against the wall as his response echoed across the entirety of my body.

I shook my head. "No Regulus," I tried to grab his hands but he stepped back, "I remember. That night at dinner, what they did to Taylor. That night you told me you loved me."

He face remained blank. "I did not." He looked down and turned away, which left to sat on the floor, against the wall as I held my loud sobs from the room next door.

Yet I did not realise it. They called my name. I looked up and saw the door handle turn. I looked up at Regulus and noticed his jaw clenched and his eyes were jolted up in fear. He took a book out and his wand, picked my hand up and the room had changed.

"Elizabeth?"

I looked up and saw Remus against the bed with his book. I tried to hold everything back but Regulus had broken the dam. "Remus" I whispered and he looked up confused. Tears flowed down my face as I leaned against the wall. Remus jumped up and wrapped his arms around me. "Don't tell Sirius please" I pleaded and he nodded. I rested my head on his shoulder as he stroked my hair and I cried. Alot that night. I'll never forget it. All too well.

***
(Wind in my hair, you were there) ifykyk

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