To Be Normal

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"So what do we do Mrs Beloved?"
Clay asked letting his knee jump up and down. I sat down next to him and placed my hand on his knee. He glanced at me but never pulled away.

Mom, Conspersa or better known as Persa, wiped her hands onto her apron. Squeals and laughter filled outside where Dad would be helping me to train my sands of time on flowers. Trying to make them bloom.
"Well darlings I have no idea. Bug are you sure you translated that note she left correctly?"

I opened the paper again.
"I'm positive. Something doesn't add up either. The woman that left this was human, I sensed no aura of magic from her so why does she know the mage's language?"
She tied her curls up and sat across from us. Clay was clenching his jaw, clearly trying to work this mess of a puzzle out. Persa pursed her lips.
"What if...no that wouldn't make sense."
She muttered. My eyes widened.
"No tell us! Even open ended ideas are worth something."

"What if she kept in touch with the family she gave the boy to? Perhaps she learnt the language as a code of sorts to keep it confidential."
Clay snapped his fingers. He had found a missing piece to the puzzle.
"Mrs Beloved...you're brilliant!"
Persa smiled confused.
"Thank you dear? Why is that?"

Clay got up and scrambled in his satchel for something. My heart was pounding. A part of me still wanted to help him find out the identity of his brother but the other part of me knew that I needed to help my partner to keep his identity a secret. It didn't help that Clay had a knack for puzzles. It's didn't help at all.
"See here on her banking statements?"
He indicated a bunch of numbers scribbled in a columned page.
"She gets a monthly donation from an seemingly anonymous donor. This must be them!"

I gulped down and dug my nails into my thigh.
"I...what good would that do for us anyway? It's not like we can track the details of someone anonymous."
His eyes faltered, the hope fading slightly.
"You're...right. You're right. They are the same people but...there's still nothing to tell us their identities."
He admitted slumping back down to me. I nervously squeezed his hand in my gloves to try and allude that I was still on his side.

Persa pinched her nose before running into the kitchen. She came out with delicious pumpkin muffins.
"Here you go. Honestly I think you both need rest and proper baths. Report to the Queen. Tell her nothing of the Red Assassin though. Say your lead was killed by some gang group before you could question her. Say you are continuing with the ends she left you."
We both nodded and made our way to the door. Clay walked out first.

"Clay?"
I whispered and her turned around.
"Yeah?"
I could see small Y/N training by herself, Ranboo must have been summoned again to the castle.
"I need to talk with my mom. Could you...train her for a bit?"
I admitted, scared that he would revolted by the concept. Instead he smiled.
"Sure. Don't take too long Darling."
He jogged over to the girl and ruffled her hair.

Something dangled from her neck and he picked it up in his fingers. His smile grew even wider before he started to try and train the younger me.
My fingers trailed to the necklace he had made me when we were kids out of his very own guitar pick. I rubbed the smooth surface of it. But my finger brushed the scar branded over my heart. XD. I felt myself close again.
I want my power.

As I sat back down Persa started to light the lanterns in the house.
"Bug you look exhausted. How much induced magic do you have left?"
I checked the vial in my pocket.
"About four more doses. It seems to not be as effective anymore though. Mom I'm tired most of the time and I can barely fight without becoming dizzy. I just...I just want to feel more normal."
I felt the tears pricking at my eyes. Persa wrapped her cinnamon scented arms around me.

"I just...I just..."
The tears started to stream.
"I understand Bug. I understand."
That was the problem. She didn't understand and I wasn't talking about having powers. I knew what would happen in just a month from now...they'd leave me. She didn't understand that she would leave my side and I'd be even more alone in this horrible world.

"I have to...tell you something...in a mo-"
She placed her finger on my lips. Her hazel eyes gazed lovingly into mine. She wiped my tears away and smiled.
"No Bug.  You can't tell me, it would mess up time more than we can imagine."
"But-"
"But nothing. No matter what happens,"
She squeezed my arms with her hands now,
"I love you. So so much. I love your laugh and your defying nature. I love you in all your glory and all your shadows. Okay?"

"Okay."
I cried softly into her arms. She rubbed my back gently. Her voice spoke to me once I had calmed down.
"He's still waiting for you out there. Even as a child you adore him. I know what fate wants from the both of you...it must have been painful. Remember to forgive him because he didn't know any better back then."
She let go of me and straightened up my cloak.

"Perhaps now, after being equals, he understands better."

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