The Mimic (HE/HIM VERSION)

38

It had been a few hours since the meltdown in the lab, and whilst y/n had calmed down after a while, he didn't feel okay. But he didn't want Bucky to know about that. He felt like a burden, an unstable mess. It wasn't like him to cry all the time, so why was he breaking down so often? It was embarrassing. Bucky was his rock, there through all the nightmares and shaky moments. But y/n felt as if he was draining him, he'd been crying in his arms more in the past few days than he'd smiled. They were supposed to be there for each other, it wasn't supposed to be one-sided. He was a burden to the whole team. Everything seemed to revolve around him and he hated it. He was supposed to be a normal member of the team, but people still seemed to tread lightly around him. He hated it.

He needed some air. He needed to get out of the compound for a while. Get away from everyone for a while. He didn't want to sit and watch a movie to forget his problems. He needed space.

So he left. Without another word. Without his suit.

"Hey, does anyone know where y/n is? We were going to watch TV together, but he disappeared." Wanda asked as she stepped into the kitchen where most of the team were situated, trying to figure out what to make for lunch. The whole team looked over with a confused look when they heard Wanda, seeming as unsure as she was. "What do you mean he disappeared?" Bucky asked as he stood up from his chair, a nervous look in his eyes. Wanda shrugged, holding the bowl of popcorn she had a little tighter at the tense situation she'd created. "Well, we were hanging out in my room and he asked if we could watch some sitcoms. So I said yes, and left to get some popcorn, and by the time I got back he was gone. I thought he might've gone to the bathroom, but I checked and they're all empty." Wanda explained with a frown, noticing as Bucky's expression continued to fall. Steve quickly stood up, setting a hand on Bucky's shoulder in attempt to calm his best friend down. "I'm sure he's fine. He's probably gone for a walk around the compound or something. He wouldn't just disappear." Steve reassured, though he was mostly just reassuring himself. Bucky seemed to relax a little, but the look in his eyes was enough to show how worried he was. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Steve cut him off. "Give him an hour. If he doesn't show up in an hour, we'll start looking around the compound, alright? I'm sure y/n's fine." Steve hummed, patting Bucky's shoulder as he made him sit back down. But, the whole team was tense. Giving one another nervous looks every now and again. This wasn't like y/n. He was always with someone. Wanda nodded with a frown, turning back around so she could head back to her room, sad that she didn't have anyone to enjoy sitcoms with now. "Wanda." Vision's voice called out as he strolled out of the kitchen, standing in the doorway with a gentle look on his face. "May I join you?" He asked carefully. Wanda smiled warmly at the gentle offer, immediately nodding her head. "Of course you can, Vis."

Y/n ended up sat on one of the tallest towers in the city. Too high up for anyone to spot him, but enough to still be able to watch the bustling city down below. Y/n sat with his feet dangling over the edge, just enjoying the cool breeze of the day against his face. He had his hood up just in case, but it was unlikely anyone was going to see him from this height. Y/n took a deep breath, picking at the skin on his hands as she slipped into his mind, completely lost in thought.

He replayed the nightmare over and over again. He remembered the way he smiled when the first man was shot, no remorse, nothing. The amount of power he had was immense, and they knew that. But y/n was only young, and they took that to their advantage. Taking control of him before he could destroy them, using him as their perfect asset. Their perfect little puppet. Y/n tensed up, clenching his fists as he looked away from his hands and out at the view, frustrated tears beginning to form in his eyes. He was Hydra's unwilling star pupil. They depended on him to kill with no trace. And now people were depending on him to become one of the Avengers. Natasha told him he was like Steve. Another star pupil. Y/n felt as if he was just moving from one puppet master to another. But this time there were bigger repercussions. At least with Hydra nobody knew him. But now everyone knew him. They looked up to him. What if he messed up?

The sound of footsteps behind him suddenly caused y/n to jump, his whole body tensing up. Nobody should be able to get up here. Who was it? Y/n slowly turned around to look at the mystery person, taking a nervous breath before he did so, preparing to fight. But, a sad smile appeared once he realised who it was, quickly wiping the tears from his face.

"You're lucky I have good attendance, they actually believed I had a family emergency." Peter smiled, dropping his backpack to the floor. He sat down beside y/n, taking two sandwiches out of the plastic bag, handing one out for y/n to take. Y/n smiled, quietly thanking Peter as he took the sandwich. "Well, we're sort of family, right?" Y/n hummed, unwrapping the sandwich slowly. Peter shrugged with a slight laugh, unwrapping his own sandwich with a sigh. "Anyway, what's up? You look like something's bothering you." Peter asked as he took the first bite. Of course he noticed the tears on y/n's face, but he didn't want to completely point it out.