on temporizing || Dream SMP Timeloop Fic

Chapter 6

26. (cosplay competition, pt. 3 (credit to Mixy_ttwara)

"Uh."

Tommy glanced at Technoblade. "What?"

Technoblade stared blankly at the outfit Tommy had donned. He had foregone his usual red-and-white t-shirt, instead sporting a white dress shirt and a royal red cape that he'd gotten from who knew where. A crown was nestled in his hair.

Wilbur appeared around the corner, staring down at his communicator. "Tommy," he called, looking up. "Why-- what the hell are you wearing?"

Tommy scowled at him. "What, I can't wear capes?"

"I-- no," Wilbur said, looking bewildered. "You're, that's-- what happened to your normal outfit?"

"This is my normal outfit."

"Pretty sure it's not," Technoblade grunted. He grabbed the edge of the cape, ignoring how Tommy yelped indignantly and tried to tug it away. "Is this- is this a shower curtain?"

"No," Tommy lied.

"It is," Technoblade muttered incredulously. "Where did you get a shower curtain?"

Tommy scowled. "It's not a shower curtain," he insisted. "It's- it's my royal cape."

"Uh-huh," Technoblade said, finally releasing his grip on the cloth. His gaze turned to the crown. ". . . that's real gold, isn't it."

"Maaaaaybe," Tommy hedged.

"I'm part piglin, Tommy. I know what real gold looks like."

Tommy gained a mutinous look. "You don't know shit, bitch."

"Where did you get it?"

"What, the crown?" Tommy adjusted it. "Made it myself. Pretty great, innit?"

"What about the gold for the crown?"

Tommy shifted. "I might have committed some theft from the government."

Wilbur looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. "You snuck into the L'Manberg vaults?!"

Tommy crossed his arms. "I had help! It was fine!"

Technoblade eyed him. "Did you leave any evidence?"

"Of course not," Tommy sniffed.

". . . Good job," Technoblade said, then turned with a dramatic flare of his cape and stalked away. Scowling, Tommy tried to copy him, only for the end of his shower curtain (cape, it was a cape) to smack Wilbur in the face.

"Oh shit! Wil, I am so sorry--"

27. (credit to DanganronpaFan0519)

"Hey, Dream."

Dream looked up from the book he was reading. "Oh, hey, Tommy."

Tommy grinned. "Let me get exiled again so we can actually be lads on tour."

A pause. Dream set his book down. ". . . Give me an excuse to get you exiled, and you'll have a deal."

~~~

"You know," Dream said flatly as he rowed the boat, "When I said 'give me an excuse', I didn't mean 'cause massive amounts of property damage and traumatize Sam for life'."

Tommy shrugged unrepentantly. "I'm saving you the trouble of canceling the project, big man."

Dream sighed. "I paid a stack of diamonds for the prison--"