on temporizing || Dream SMP Timeloop Fic

Chapter 13

61. (inspired by YHN017)

"I didn't know you liked scarves."

Dream looked up, raising an eyebrow at Sapnap. "I don't."

". . . But you're wearing one right now."

Dream glanced down at the furry grey scarf draped around his neck. "Oh, Big T? He's not a scarf. He's my emotional support raccoon."

Said raccoon opened its eyes and proceeded to fix him with a glare that would have sent lesser men running for their lives. Sapnap laughed nervously and took a step back.

"Oh, uh, my bad. Sorry. Thought it was a scarf from the angle."

"He doesn't like being called a scarf," Dream warned. The raccoon bared its teeth in a fanged grin, beady eyes fixing on Sapnap's neck.

Sapnap decided that a tactical retreat was in order, gave Dream a hasty goodbye, and did exactly that.

~~~

"So he's missing."

"Yes," Wilbur said impatiently. "Yes, he is. So have you seen him?"

Dream hummed. "Can't say I have, sorry." He looked down at the - was that a goose? - standing dutifully by his feet. "Destroyer, have you seen Tommy?"

The goose honked and shook its head. "What the fuck," said Wilbur.

"Ah, I haven't introduced you yet." Dream patted the goose on its head, ignoring it when it tried to bite his fingers off. "Destroyer, this is Wilbur. Wilbur, this is Destroyer, my emotional support goose."

Wilbur had many, many questions. The foremost being: "Why the fuck is it named 'Destroyer'?"

"Because he is the destroyer of humanity's hopes and dreams," Dream said sagely. The destroyer of humanity's hopes and dreams in question reared backward, spreading its wings wide and honking aggressively. Wilbur took a step back as it advanced, its webbed feet slapping menacingly against the wooden pathway.

"Why is he doing that?"

"Doing what?" Dream asked, apparently finding nothing wrong with the goose's posturing. Wilbur gestured at the goose as it took another step forward.

"That."

Dream shrugged. "Oh, he probably wants to bite you. I'd suggest running."

The goose abruptly snapped its wings shut and barreled full speed towards Wilbur. Wilbur couldn't stop the instinctive shriek of fear that rose in his throat, and within seconds he was off, bolting down the path with an angry goose hot on his heels.

Dream grinned.

~~~

"This is Rat."

"You can't just steal my dog's name," Bad protested.

Dream shrugged. "Rat is just your dog's nickname, she doesn't need it. And my Rat is an actual rat."

"Okay. One, Rat had the name first, so obviously it should be hers. Two. . . that's a hamster, Dream."

Dream let out an offended gasp, clutching his emotional support hamster to his chest. "How could you hurt his feelings like that?! Calling him a hamster?!"

The hamster bared its teeth at Bad and let out a very un-hamster-like hiss. Dream patted it on the head. "You're a rat, Rat. Don't listen to Bad, he's a meanie."

"But that's a hamster," Bad protested. At the twin appalled looks he received, he threw his hands up into the air. "Okay, fine, he's a rat! My point about the name stands."