Loosing myself again - Y/n and dsmp

Chapter 1 - Florida

TW
Ed
Sh
$u*c*d@l thoughts

Y/Ns POV

I open my wardrobe and drag my suitcase out of it ready to pack whilst I have the motivation. I glance over at my pc regretting my next actions, the familiar profile picture pops up he top with 5 notifications, I sigh regretting what's about to come.

I look at the time in the right corner it's almost 11pm now I've been calming her down for an hour, she finally logs off not even asking how I'm doing, I open my bathroom draw, I'm going to regret this tomorrow

1 cut

Im fat

2 cuts

Everyone hates you

3 cuts

Your the reason she wants to die

4 cuts

Im ugly

5 cuts

Why am I not dead

Soon the 5 cuts turn into 10 then the 10 into 20, I realise I'm  actually going to kill myself if I don't stop. I regretfully put my blade away and wash my almost red arm and splash water over my thighs. I hear the a discord call ring notification start from my pc, quickly I wrap up my arms and decide to clean my thighs up later.

"Hello?" I answer "y/n I see your online, you should sleep for tomorrow, remember I'm picking you up at 7" he says "yeah just about finish packing now" I say smiling as we say our good byes.

I wonder what to pack for an entire 6 months? I quickly realise my hoodies won't be enough, I leave my favourite black and red one out and pack the rest, I continue to pack most of my clothes, I then pack essentials and toiletries as I stare at the almost empty draw I pick it up, I will regret this later, I throw them into a small freezer bag and cover it in clothes at the bottom just to be safe. I soon find my self drifting off still in the same clothes.

-time skip 5 hours-

I wake up to my alarm, shit. I quickly throw on the hoodie and put on long pants covering my stinging thighs. I race downstairs dragging my backpack and suitcase with me. "Hey y/n you hungry?" Shit "No thanks, don't want to get travel sick" I say smiling at her " make sure you eat something when you get there please" " I will, thanks mum" I say clearly lying but wave goodbye as I hop into Wilburs car.

-time skip 2 hours-

Once we manage to make it through security, We meet up with Tubbo, Tommy and Phil, George already flew out a few weeks ago. "We should get something to eat" Wilbur says after reading something on his phone. Everyone agrees and I have no choice but to follow. They decide on a burger place near our terminal. "What would you like to eat?" The waiter asks everyone orders their food "and you miss?" She asks "uh I'm not-" "she'll have a burger" Wilbur says, she walks off. I stare at him "it's going to go to waste" I say coldly "your mother told me you didn't eat breakfast, im going to make sure you eat" my heart sinks there's no point fighting him.

A few minutes later our food arrives, "I'm not hungry, I don't want to get travel sick" I say wanting to die on the spot right then and there. "3 bites then your done" he says eyeing me closely as I shovel the gross sickening oily fat food into my mouth, I don't want him to be suspicious of me. Once everyone's done we wait at our terminal. "Flight 132 Brighton England to Miami,Florida boarding now" "that's us" Tommy and Tubbo cheer, we board the flight, soon my breathing is becoming shallow again and I end up in a hot and cold sweat.

"You ok?" Tommy asks from my left as we're sitting in the middle isle together with Tubbo, "yeah I'm fine" I say shaking it off and gripping the chair as we begin to level out.
Halfway through I wake up, I feel gross after eating the burger, "be right back guys" I say to a half asleep Tommy and Wilbur. I hold my blade tighter as I squeeze into the airport bathroom, quickly I roll up my sleeve. I almost sigh from relief as I see blood drip down my left arm. "Y/n you ok in there" shit what's Wilbur doing "uh yeah gimme a sec" I say quickly pulling down my sleeve over my fresh cuts, I quickly wrap them in toilet paper. not caring that it will probably bleed through. Washing my hands after I exit the bathroom. "You ok y/n you where in there for a while" "yeah I'm fine just motion sickness" I reply hurrying back to our seats. I stretch my arms up and fall against Tommy's chair for the rest of the flight.

Wilburs POV
I notice her leave with a piece of some kind of metal in her hand, suspicious of her I decide to ask her later but follow her just in case. When we get back to our seats she stretches, her sleeves roll down a little bit revealing straight lines some purple some pink some red, in shock I decide to talk to her alone once we land.

-time skip 2 hours-

We are arriving into the main part of the lobby as we're greeted by Dream and Sapnap telling us everyone else is back at the air bnb they rented for everyone. We all excitedly get into the 2 cars, me and Phil hop in with Dream and the children with sapnap.