Loosing myself again - Y/n and dsmp

Chapter 4 - the kitchen

Tw $u*c*de attempts, sh, anxiety/panic attacks, Ed

Y/Ns POV

I cry into Nikis shoulder as she sits there in shock. I look at her and instantly feel so bad
It's your fault
Your in everyone's way
You're annoying fat and worthless

I loose my vision and fall back.

Nikis POV

My heart breaks as I stare at her, she's 16 how did she even do this. As she falls back into a shallow breathing ball I slowly count.

1...2...3...
Y/N breathe with me, I'm here it's ok

2 hours later I have her sitting up, it's getting dark, we missed dinner but Wilbur would have made an excuse. I make sure she's safe and asleep and then fall asleep myself.

Y/Ns POV
I wake up in a sweat from a nightmare, they don't like you no one does, just do it already. I check the time 4am, I get up quietly walking downstairs sign the early morning. I search through draws, everything. I finally find a knife I guess that will have to do. I slowly put it in my pocket tears streaming down my face in the early morning light. As I roll down the kitchen cabinet I press it into my skin I feel my emotions let go as I dig it deeper, to deep, about 20 cuts in with blood spewing onto the floor and out of my arm I hear a faint call.

"Y/N?" It sounds british, as the footsteps get closer I notice who it is it's George. My breathing speeds up as he takes the knife from me. "Do you want me to get Wilbur?" He asks wrapping my arm in his hoodie. I shake my head violently as I fall into his arms, it's nice to have someone who understands. "Y/N it's ok copy my breathing" he says stroking my back as I slowly regain consciousness. "We need to get you out of here before the others wake-" I hear footsteps.shit.shit.shit.he pulls my sleeve down and hides the knife in my pocket. "Y/N, George?" A familiar voice calls followed by rushing footsteps. "Y/N you ok?" I nod getting up, I glance over at George, he understands, "she just had a panic attack she's fine no harm done" he says mouthing we need to talk and pointing upstairs "yeah I'm fine I promise" I hate making promises.

After I leave Wilbur to cook breakfast I open George's door slowly. He pats the Bed beckoning me to sit next to him. "Wilbur needs to know, y/n you just tried to off yourself" I sit there staring at his blood stained hoodie now lying on the floor, luckily he mopped it up just before Wilbur arrived. "Y/N I promise it's going to be fine" he says wrapping up my heavily bleeding arm as I  shake my head. He takes the knife out of the pocket sternly and makes me promise, I promise I hate lying to people.