Loosing myself again - Y/n and dsmp

Chapter 5 - I cant keep promises

TW
Suicide mention
Ed
Sh
Panic attacks

Wilburs POV

I can't sleep so I get up and go downstairs to make everyone breakfast, I hear crying and talking. "Y/N.... Is that George?" I say squinting in the early morning light. "Y/N" I run over as both of their heads look up. "Y/N are you ok?" I ask  "she had a panic attack she's fine no harm done" he's says I notice her sleeves look damp on one side but think nothing of it.

As they walk upstairs I begin to make breakfast happy she wasn't cutting.

George's POV
Once she left to go change I walk downstairs happy it's only Wilbur in the kitchen, Tommy and Niki watching a tv show. "Wilbur I need to tell you something" pain is visible in my voice "sure what is it George.... Wait is it about y/n?" I nod "y/n tried to off herself this morning, it wasn't just a panic attack, there was blood, a lot of it, she's ok now, I'm sorry" I say tears prick my eyes it looks as if he's on the edge of crying. " thank you for telling me, can you finish breakfast please?" I nod and watch him disappear upstairs immediately.

Wilburs POV
I burst into her bedroom "y/n your not getting out of this" I say shutting the door and sitting down next to her. "I'm sorry" she says unable to look at me. "Y/n look at me, if your going to get better you need to tell me why" I say pointing at her arm.

Y/ns POV

I don't even know why it just happened but before I answer that tears stream down my face "I'm a fat worthless pig, I can't do anything right, I'm useless, everyone hates me and thinks I'm annoying, everyone thinks I'm disgusting and gross for being this fat and I can't even go a few hours without wishing I was dead" I say my head falling into my knees, as he pulls me into a hug he says "y/n no one would ever think that of you and everyone enjoys having you around and We love you for who you are" (IN A PLATONIC WAY). "Y/N why did you do it, this morning?" He asked again trying to get a specific reason. I shrug "I didn't really feel myself a few days before and I had been desperate to let my pain out" I say gesturing towards my arm. "If you ever feel like this again tell anyone, me, George, Niki, or even Tommy, tubbo or Ranboo, anyone, we want to keep you safe, you have to promise me to stop". I nod as he squeezes me asking me to join them for breakfast in a few minutes. I hate making promises.

I walk downstairs luckily not many people are up I avoid the kitchen and lay under the coffee table in the living room wanting to melt into the floor. I think I'm about to get out of eating but someone flops down next to me with 2 plates both equal size looking sickening.

"hey y/n" he says placing one of the plates in front of me "I'm not hungry Karl " "your not leaving till you take at least 6 bites" he says starting to cut up my food. I slowly eat each 6 with him the disgusting texture all I can think of is how fat I'll be after this "done" I say rushing up before he can stop me. I run to the nearest bathroom locking it, seconds later I hear banging on the door and him begging me to open it. I try to empty my stomach as he slides down the door and starts to breakdown.

Your friend is crying because of you
Selfish
Go help him it's your fault

I quickly manage to throw up, flushing the toilet and washing my hands rinsing my mouth out, I quickly push open the door sitting next to him. "Y/N why?" He asks in tears. "I have to I can't get fat" I say my head in his lap. "I'm sorry Karl" I say as tears prick my eyes, luckily no one else is nearby. "You can't do this again, it hurts me to see you like this" he says dragging me up and going to sit back down at the dining table with everyone.