Tw!!
Sh
Ed
Anxiety
Panic attacks
Su*c*d3 attempts
Su*c*d@l thoughts
Y/N thinks the trip will be easy but learns her friends aren't as clueless as her mum.....
(A/N hii sorry to ruin the flow, Im not sure what characters left yet apart from tubbo so sorry if I miss out on some of them)
Y/Ns POV I get up and go to my room after stream I'm so fat that's what they all think, wow let yourself go did you? You thought you had it all under control I guess not Look at yourself. 3 cuts your fat 4 they all think so too 5 turns into 6 I hear a knock "hey y/n you good in there?" Karl asks, fuck, "yeah one sec" "it's just it's been 15 minutes" I can lie and say I got my period but we all know I haven't gotten that in months. He knows I've probably relapsed already because you a weak fat fuck. Guess we'll risk an infection. I open the door after hiding my blade in my pocket "Y/N are you ok, let me see your thighs" "I got my period" I lie he looks taken aback "oh ok do you want me to go get stuff?" Shit what do I say now I haven't had my period in almost 2 years.
Karl's POV I go up to tell y/n that dinners almost ready but her doors closed I knock and there's no answer, I open it but she's not in there and her bathroom door is closed, this better not go how I think it's gonna go, I knock and ask if she's ok, she emerges seconds later, "Y/N are you ok, Let me see your thighs" I say noticing blood spots on her hands, "I got my period" she announces "oh ok do you want me to go get you stuff?" I say not really believing her it's too early in recovery? Then again what do I know about women's bodies, "do you have what you need?" I ask again "yeah Karl I'm fine" "oh ok well dinners ready now so come down when your ready" I say leaving, Karl you know nothing, she might have gotten her period don't be on edge so much, she's getting better right?
Y/Ns POV I hope he bought it Don't let it happen again it tells me "I won't " I whisper back I follow closely behind Karl not to look suspicious, my thighs still stinging.
Wilburs POV
Karl comes back down closely followed by y/n, "she's ok" he said "did she..?" "No shes fine I promise" he says, Y/N emerges from upstairs, on her plate I put a smaller serving than everyone else and i cut it into little bits, I hope she eats some. We all sit down.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I place her plate down and everyone else grabs theirs, we all start talking but I simply watch Y/N and Techno who's also slipping back into bad habits. Im worried about all of them.
Karl's POV
She squeezes my hand, a look of dread of her face at the food in front of her, "you got this, just a few bites" I beg her quietly. She nods and begins to pick at her food taking a bite every few minutes
Y/Ns POV
Oh my god oh my god, look at all that oil just on the potatoes let alone all the calories in that, my stomach flips, I squeeze Karls hand tighter, I take a few bites as I'm instructed too, Go on little piggy eat it all up, your going to hurt their feelings if you don't eat or they might send you to a hospital. Everyone packs up plates and I get a few proud looks from people, why are they happy I just got even fatter, they're probably happy because they look thinner than you, throw it up you know you have to. No, just one meal and then we go back, throw it up it gets louder I can't ignore it.
"fuck off" I yell hitting my head, shit they definetly heard that.
Wilburs POV
We all sit down to have a movie night after dinner. We all changed into comfy clothes, "OOH lets watch Jurassic Park" cheers Tommy "Noo as if thats a shit movie" Sapnap teases back, "ok guys I have a good one, Harry Potter" Dream suggests, eventually everyone agrees after Tommy and Sapnap stop fighting each other. Y/N looks slightly pale but she says shes fine so I think nothing of it.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Y/Ns POV
I feel so sick, don't throw it up you'll dissapoint them, I have to, I break into a cold sweat, "you ok?" Wilbur asks I nod, fuck I'm going to be sick. "be right back, don't wait for me" I gasp out dashing to the bathroom. Footsteps follow me, I make it to the bathroom and immediately empty my stomach a few times, I then see who followed me.
Wilburs POV
She says shes fine but shes almost green, "Y/N.." I begin to say but she blurts out "be right back, don't wait for me" I follow her as she dashes for the bathroom, She makes it there and I try to talk to her but she starts throwing up, I hold her hair back for her, at least it wasn't on purpose.
She begins to dry gag and then slumps into my arms tears rolling down her face, "hey its ok, it's not your fault that. happened" I say soothingly running my fingers through her hair, Karl appears in the door way "Do you want me to grab some water?" he questions, I nod. "Wilbur I'm really sorry" "Shh don't even start, this was definitely not your fault whatsoever" I say passing her the water, I help her up and she stops me from going back downstairs "I-I don't want to see them all" I nod "It's ok I'll tell them your ok" I say tucking her in, Who hurt her, I fight back tears looking at her small body, "Goodnight Y/N call me if you need me" "Night Wilbur" I smile heading back down.
"Is she ok?" "Omg is y/n alright" everyone begs "Look she's fine she's asleep now, she threw up but it wasn't intentionally" I tell them "god i'm so worried about her" I say "Me too" Tommy chimes in, everyone agrees, we sit down to watch the movie, all of us deep in worry or thought.
We all wake up asleep on the couch except Dream George and Sapnap who I'm assuming all went to bed. I stumble over to the kitchen 10am, fuck Ranboo and Phil are leaving today. Y/N comes down followed by the others. Slowly the others begin to get up of the couch, "morning sleepyheads" I laugh at Dream and George, "bitch" Dream replies to me and I give him a soft punch, We start making brunch.
Tommys POV
I sit with Ranboo for brunch, "I'll miss you Ran" "I will too" he replies sadly, "hey we'll see each other again soon" he says trying to cheer me up, "I have no one man" "You have Wilbur, Y/N..??" "Y/N over there gets special treatment though" I say a bit too loudly, "Tommy What the Fuck" Wilbur says, shit they did hear that "Not cool Tommy" Even Dreams Pissed "What I'm just saying she starves herself, cuts herself AND makes herself throw up it up like it's not that hard to fucking eat-" I get kicked hard by Techno Y/N gets up and leaves Wilbur following, "what the actual fuck Tommy" George Starts "Tommy what the HELL?" Ranboo says "You better have a good fucking reason for that" Sapnap defends her, "Tommy you know better than that" says Nikki, "Fucks sake guys we're all just sitting here watching her fade away I'm the only one who cares" I do feel kind of bad now, "TOMMY, We're all obviously hurt by it and so supportive of her going into recovery she's doing her best and you should be too, now go check on her and it better be a massive fucking apology" Karl half yells "I'm sorry guys" I say unable to look at any of them.
I trek up the stairs to her room.
Wilbur's POV
I run after Y/N, who's already crying, I follow her into her room and grab her arm before she can even touch her blades which somehow manage to still be reappearing. "Wilbur I-" I pull her into a hug and hot tears roll down her face, "Y/n it's ok he didn't mean it" "Yeah he did.." "No no i'm sure he doesn't think sometimes" we hear yelling and footsteps come up and he opens the door, I raise an eye at him, he comes and sits down on her bed.
