I sat in my car balling my eyes out. I tried so hard to prepare myself for today, but I did that all for nothing. I've been crying all morning nonstop wondering where I would get the strength to even visit Mile's grave, but I still came earlier than everyone else.
I wiped my tears before getting out and finding his grave. This will be the first time i've ever visited since I last seen his casket lowered into it.
I sat down next to it looking at the name tag because his tombstone still wasn't finished yet. I tried my best to hold back my tears but I couldn't. So there I was crisscross applesauce crying infront of my deceased boyfriend's grave.
keep it together Laila
"H-Hey baby, happy birthday, damnit I miss you soo much — we've been together for what feels like and eternity, and now — now i'm out here in the world by myself." I sniffed wiping my eyes again.
"Our daughters due date is next month and my doctor says she's about the size of a cantaloupe now. I named her Lyric because you loved that name and I passed down Janae's name as her middle name cause I know you much she meant to you." I said referring to his younger sister who died of Leukemia at age 10.
"Ugh man it's so hard Miles, how am I supposed to do this without you, you would've been such a great father and it sucks. I said. "It really sucks."
"I've been getting on my shit just like you told me, my beauty bar's up and running and i'm gaining new customers everyday." I smiled. "Gosh I just miss hearing your voice."
————
"Bae..." Miles called out as I dosed off over the phone. "BAE."
"Hu-Huh i'm here." I said yawning while hearing him chuckle over the phone. "Just gone on to sleep imma be home in like a hour."
"N-no, i'm up." I said trying to keep my eyes open. "Get some rest bae, i'll be there to kiss y'all goodnight in a lil while."
"No- I love you." He said cutting me off. "No ba — I LOVE YOU."
"I love you too." I said weakly since I was already tired and wasn't feeling well.
