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CHAPTER TWO: love doesn't always last _______________________________ TRUE LOVE WAS COMPLETE BULLSHIT TO VALERIE.
How could it be possible to find someone to love you without them leaving or discarding you? Finding somebody to love you was already hard enough. Maybe she only had that mentality because of past trauma, but maybe it was better that way.
A couple of years ago, Valerie began to adapt to a world where she could be with whoever she wanted, and everything went however she desired. Originally, it was just for fun! Remember that saying? Everyone has to have some fun every once in a while. That was the mentality she had going into this situation. Eventually, daydreaming became a daily event, an escape plan. To others, she appeared to be wandering in her thoughts. But she was really living a different life, a life way different than her current living circumstances. That was one of the reasons she loved reading. She was living in someone else's perspective, not her own. She continued to live a life that wasn't hers, it was all in her head. Don't get me wrong, daydreaming is normal. We all find ourselves getting tangled in our thoughts at times. But every piece of trauma she carried, was another reason to escape. What she didn't know, was that no matter how much satisfaction and contentment it provided for her in the moment, caused her more suffering and distress in the future, because it wasn't real.
Because of her struggle with maladaptive daydreaming, she never really cared enough to show that kind of interest towards anyone. That was something the people at Hawkins admired about her. She didn't depend on another person for her well-being, which was technically true.. considering what she depended on wasn't real. Anyways, back to what was currently taking place! The rumor that Nancy and Steve called it quits, meant that Steve was back up for auction. That meant full faces of makeup, more cleavage, and definitely way more compliments heading Steve's way. Valerie was mortified for Nancy. From what Valerie had heard, it sounded like Steve immediately cut Nancy out of the picture, and now he was just waiting to find someone else to temporarily replace Nancy's spot in the picture. That was the thing about men nowadays. They don't necessarily care about finding the right woman, they just care about finding multiple women to please them temporarily, and then they're off to the next. Which proves Valerie's theory, true love is bullshit!
Third period had finally ended, after what felt like forever for Valerie. Selina didn't have lunch until after fourth period, so Valerie usually spent lunch with Jonathan, and sometimes Nancy. But considering there was a possibility that the demogorgons weren't gone for good, it had her feeling on edge ever since. One of the only sources she had for self-expression was writing it all down. Since she wasn't comfortable actually talking to someone about her mental life, writing it down made it seem as if she got it off her chest. Even if it didn't fix the conflict, it lifted some weight off of her. She placed her backpack on the hood of the car, unhooking the latch as she heard a familiar voice call her name. She turned around to see Nancy, visibly upset and frustrated. "Hey, is everything okay?" Valerie asked, her eyebrows furrowed. "I'm not sure." Nancy replied, her eyes on the ground as she sat on the hood of Valerie's car. Valerie closed her backpack, placing it on the ground as she joined Nancy. "I was wondering if Steve said anything to you last night? Anything that might've," Nancy paused, looking for the right words to use. "Anything that might've stood out." She clarified. Valerie bit the inside of her bottom lip, thinking back to the conversation she had with Steve. "We really didn't talk much. He just said he didn't want you spending the next morning hungover. Other than that, everything was normal." Valerie replied, looking over to the brunette. "Why do you ask?" Valerie asked out of curiosity. "Multiple reasons. One being I don't remember anything, like at all. And when I went to talk to him earlier, he said that I told him I didn't love him, and that Jonathan gave me a ride home?" Nancy sighed, setting her head in her hands. "I don't know. The whole thing is a blur." Nancy finished. "Well, I can tell you that Jonathan drove you home.. which I don't understand why that's such a big deal." Valerie answered. "You were drunk. And considering the shit you've gone through, it's understandable for you to act like that. Only you know if you love him or not. And if you really do, tell him." Valerie said, in an attempt to comfort Nancy. "That's the thing." Nancy said, raising her head from her hands. "He asked me if I loved him, and I thought I did, it felt like it. But when I really thought about it, it didn't feel right. I don't know if I love him or not." Nancy said, she was clearly confused with her feelings. "If you really loved him, you wouldn't be questioning it." Valerie spoke. Love was a complicated thing, and considering she had no experience with relationships, she was surprised at her own words. "It's been a rough time for everyone. Don't feel ashamed if you decide to put yourself first. You're spending too much time thinking of everything else around you, that you're not even focusing on yourself." Nancy kept thinking of those exact ten words that stood out to her most, 'Don't feel ashamed if you decide to put yourself first'. Nancy looked up at Valerie, a smile on her face. "And yet again, you word everything you say perfectly." Valerie laughed at Nancy's words. Nancy wrapped her arms around the girl, feeling comfort in the warmth she radiated. Valerie was the first to pull away from the hug. "I have to get back to class. It's a long walk to the back of the building." Valerie spoke, throwing her backpack over her shoulder. "Tell me about it.." Nancy said, playfully rolling her eyes. "I'll see you later. Thank you though, really." Valerie gave Nancy a smile, "Yeah, of course." Nancy hopped off of Valerie's car as Valerie walked towards the building.
