Even If It Means A War (Chaotic Series #1)

Kabanata 29

Even If It Means A War

Kabanata 29

Tatlong araw matapos ang pagkikita namin ni Zame, tinatak ko sa kokote kong hindi mabubura ang galit niya sa akin.

Everything was clear to me. Sinampal niya sa akin ang resulta ng desisyong ginawa ko noon. His hatred proved that what was lost between us could never be restored.

Siguro, walang makakaintindi kung bakit ko ginawa ang bagay na 'yon. Kundi sarili ko lang. Mali dahil hindi ko sinabi sa kaniya dahil alam kong hindi siya papayag kapag sinabi ko ang plano ko.

His plans of offering his land before did not meet the expectations and was impossible to get approved by my grandfather. Pareho kaming walang konkretong solusyon. In the haste of everything, I did my last resort just to save him.

And I was really, really scared. If Zame asked me to escape with him, I don't think I would have chosen that option. I might still have made this decision just to save him and our child as quickly as possible. Aalis pa rin ako. Dahil takot na takot ako. Takot akong mawala siya sa akin.

I brought Roine with me because he will be safe. I know he's safe with Zame too, but it's better he's with me, away from the danger of my grandfather. And I'm not going to leave without my son. Sa akin, hindi ko na siya kailangan itago para alagaan at matututukan ko siya nang maayos.

I was... pressured too. Very pressured. My grandfather is a man of high influence. If I didn't do that decision promptly, Zame might not be alive today. He would've died. And it would've been a war. And it was stupid for him because I left. Because I didn't share.

And if I shared, he would never have allowed me to do it. I know he would have decided for us to just leave. That wouldn't have been in our favor. My grandfather will hunt us down. At hindi rin ako papayag na tumakas na lang. It won't be a lifetime solution.

Bakit ko naman iiwan ang taong mahal na mahal ko? Hindi ko siya iniwan nang basta-basta lang dahil dala-dala ko ang magiging kapakanan niya at ng anak naming dalawa. If only I had an easy choice that would lead us to better consequence and place, I wouldn't have left him.

Hindi ko alam kung ayos bang nagkausap kaming dalawa dahil sa tagpong iyon. Siguro. Because now I know, he won't forgive me of what I did, especially since I did it intentionally. Kahit siguro lumuhod ako sa harap niya, hindi niya tatanggapin ang paghiningi ko ng tawad.

"Turn around," utos ko kay Roine.

Nilagyan ko ng bimpo ang kaniyang likod. Gagala sila ngayon at ipapasyal siya ni Rems sa amusement park.

I still don't know how to tell Roine the truth. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula. Nahihirapan akong mag-isa-isa. Roine will question me. I'm going to break his heart once I told him Rall is not his biological father. Mahal na mahal niya si Rall at hindi ako handa makita siyang masaktan kapag nalaman niyang walang dugong nananalaytay sa kanilang dalawa. And eventually, our families will discover the truth. But telling my son the truth is more important.

Kinuwento sa akin ni Roine na hinabol niya ang sinasakyang kabayo ni Zame at sinundan niya hanggang sa marating nila ang dulo ng plantasyon. Sinakay daw siya ni Zame at nilibot saglit. I wonder how Zame reacted when he saw his son?

Bumaba kami ni Roine. Naroon na sina Rems na hinihintay ang pagbaba namin.

"I'm excited!" Patalon-talon na nagtungo si Roine sa mga Tita niya.

Binigay ko ang bag kay Rems. "Palitan mo ng damit kapag basa na siya sa likod."

"Yes, Madam," aniya at sinukbit ang bag sa kaniyang balikat.