Neverending Story || Norenmin

Quinze

Under the moonlight, Renjun let himself be engulf in the darkness of the ward. The only light source in the room is the moon that shine on Seoul. He threw his view at the vast big city.

All sort of thought came right through him. He knows he is at wrong. For making Jeno and Emily apart from each other. He knows that. But he wasn't strong enough at that time to face Jeno everytime he let Emily meet Jeno. So he did the best thing he could do, move away from Jeno and Jaemin.

But the guiltiness making him uneasy everyday, each day it keeps eating him. So he do the next best thing, put all blames to Jeno and Jaemin, so he won't feel the guilt any longer. But who is he kidding, the more he hurt them with his harsh truth, the more his heart ache.

Did he really love Jeno after all this time? The only reason he stayed with Jeno is because of Emily. He didn't love Jeno and only treat him as a friend. But that one fateful night, making everyone miserable. He hold Jeno back from getting together with Jaemin. He makes Jaemin smile through his pain watching him and Jeno together. He caused all of this. And moreover, he hurt Donghyuck making his best friend move away to another country.

Plus, Emily deserve a better parents that could take care of her without insecurities, assurance, loves and cares. He couldn't provide those with his selfish self, only loves all that he can afford to provide. And loves and cares he could raise Emily till now. But insecurities and assurance, plus with financial, he couldn't get those for her as he too struggling with himself. He didn't need Emily to struggle in everything in her life, not when she's suddenly sick.

Emily being sick is finally downing him. The face that hidden behind the mask he crafted finally cracked. God, he is not strong to watch his little baby struggling to live. He's never been that strong. To watch her suffer when he is the one who should be punished. He wanted to take away Emily's illness, but he wasn't even a deity to do so. He doesn't have power to get away the illness from Emily. Plus, as her birth giver, he is the one to blame for giving that weak body to Emily. God he hate this feeling.

He hate that he is the reason everything escalate to this. To everyone's suffering. But when Jaemin and Jeno said they love him, he wanted to be selfish and hurt them, for abandoning him 5 years ago. But, he couldn't lie anymore as this is actually eating him from the inside.

Waking on Jaemin's laps isn't something that he imagined after their little reunion. But alas, he had to embarrass himself in his trance state, being manhandled by both Jeno and Jaemin to which he isn't fond of the idea.

"Baba," he snapped from his trance and look at the source of the sound.

Emily look at him with a pale face. She tried to smile but wince when she felt a needles inside the back of her palm.

"Baba, where am I?" She asked softly.

"Baby," Renjun scoot closer to grab his daughter's hands. He softly pat her head. "You're at hospital. Do you remember what happened this morning?"

She shakes her head and frown. "Baba, are you crying?" She asked once again.

Too shocked, Renjun stupified for a moment before he chuckled nervously. "I'm not, baby. Why would i be crying?"

"Don't lie to me, baba."

"Baby, i am not crying." He rub his daughter's cheeks, "enough about me. What about you? Is there somewhere hurting? Are you okay? Do you need drinks? Food?" She shakes her head and smile fondly. An softly mumbled, 'i'm okay.'

"Is papa here?" She asked innocently. "I dreamt of him. Guess he visit me right?"

Renjun look at her. Then it him how much he takes away Jeno's love from Emily that makes her dream of his own papa.