Neverending Story || Norenmin

Dix-sept

"How's Jilin so far?" Ask an old voice behind him while he's sipping a coffee. A morning with light coffee is a blessing, truly is.

He smiled at the old lady that approaching him. "It's great. Just like how i remembered."

The old lady took a sit beside him, handing him a mini mandarin for a morning snack. "Glad to hear that young boy." She chuckled.

"How's your life here?"

"Great. It's been too long since your granpa has gone. But i'm doing fine now without him."

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Alive, without your soulmate."

".......I just live. It's never been easy to forget a man you spend the rest of your life with. But i need to continue, in order for apart if him to still resides in this world."

"You're not mad at me? For not telling you about mama?" He nervously peeled the mandarin as he wait for the answer.

"How could i? You were young, my boy. So young. I couldn't expect you to fly back here after all you've been through. I'm just sad you had to go through that alone. Even if you have brothers, but it's not the same when i'm not there for you. But i don't know how to find you or even where." She cares his cheeks softly. "But you are here now. That's all that matters."

Tears threatening to fall down, Renjun stare at his laps. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"It's okay."

He look at his old cousin, that he never stop contacting after suddenly bump to him 3 years ago. He couldn't believe this cousin of his is a successful man now. A doctor of his own.

"Hey man, how's life?" The man asked without expecting a real answer as he probably know now.

The younger chinese just shrug and snickered at the man. Always this funky and careless.

"So, what are you doing in Jilin? I had to flew here from Shanghai just to meet you, you know." He raise his brows.

"I need your help. No, my daughter need your help gege." He said with desperate voice. Trying to pour out his heart.

The older frowned at words. He tried to calm Renjun who's practically palpilating by sliding to the younger's side.

"Jun, gege is here. I need you to calm down please." The older hug him closer to his chest. Soothing him with calming words after words.

"Ge, i can't live without her ge. I can't. If she died, i'll die too. I can't be without her. These days been hard too without by my side. She's my life and if she isn't here anymore, i don't know what i'll do after that. Ge, Sicheng ge, please help me, please please." The younger pleaded with tears streaming down his face.

"Jun, i'm here Jun. I'll help you the best as i can. I will." The older's heart broke knowing his long lost cousin who he once adored so much but got separated on that fateful night.

"Ge, i know forever doesn't exist. Nobody last forever. But i want to be her forever and she be mine. I couldn't be Jeno's, so why can't i be hers? Why? Why's my life so cruel?" He meekly look at the older, trying to find an answer that he know he won't get.

The older just silently cares him. Too speechless from the sudden depressive words. For almost all half his life he didn't be at this younger's side, this little man has been broken beyond repair. From his mother leaving him to another world, his boyfriend who he shared daughter with leaving him to another man, and now his daughter trying to follow her grandma. Life is so cruel in this little soul.

"I stayed alive for them ge. But they left me." The younger once said over a coffee they shared on a Jeju's cafe. He met the younger there to express how he missed the younger. Years trying to find him but to no avail. And finally, getting back him when he suddenly stumbled on Jaehyun's post on his SNS. His old friend from college.

"I'm here now Jun. Everything will be alright from now on."

After telling the stories of his daughter, Sicheng is too shock. He couldn't believe that once the girl is so bubbly and matured for her age, suffering such a cruel fate. Heart disease isn't hard to cure. But if once body can no longer hold the pain, they'll wither eventually.

He look at his cousin sympathically. Didn't dare to urge him to go back to his daughter sides to spend the rest of her life with him instead of searching around for cure. Because there's none and the illness is rare. Rare enough for people to find cure for it.

"Ge, are you listening?" The younger frown while wiping away his tears.

In a snap, the older back to the reality. He look at Renjun now as he sheepishly embarrass for not paying full attention to the small man. "I am Jun."

"You aren't. You've been spacing out alot since we were kids, right? Aish ge. Still couldn't get rid of the habit huh?" Renjun tried to seems cheerful but failed as he see eyes to eyes with Sicheng.

"Jun. It's okay to be sad, crying for something that you couldn't take it. It okay to want to be left alone. It's okay to crumble down. No one blame you Jun." He cup the younger's cheeks. "But never lie to yourself, please." He cares and give the younger a pat before he sip down his coffee.

Renjun stares at the older as he tried to swallow the bitter truth from Sicheng. Then he ponder for a bit. Getting a bit uneasy as the older could read his feelings and he feels like naked in front of him.

"Ge," the older hummed. "Can i tell you the truth?" He nodded, trying to appear nonchalant to give the younger space.

"Actually, i lied. I never know what's the meaning of love is." He calmly trying to collect his thought. "I tried to learn it from Jeno. Attempting to give him all, but he left me. But the hurt never came. Only anger as he left his own daughter to me to raise her alone. I'm actually not that mad at Jeno. How could i after i couldn't shower him with love, a sincere one like Jaemin's. But as to why i threw harsh words at him, is because i just wanted to be left alone. I don't want him back in my life and rob away my daughter from me. I don't want that. I keep lying to myself that i hate him. But to he honest, i just don't want him to take away Emily from me." He look out at the window. Eyes getting solemn from the truth he let out.

"But who am i kidding? Emily loves his father too. After all this time, she still like him. But she tried to bury down the longiness towards her father just for me. Their bonds, i couldn't compete with Jeno. Tho im the one who spent most of the times with her, she still loves her papa more than me. And i hate that Ge."

All the older could do is just nodding along the words of Renjun. He knew, all too well as his aunt also just like Renjun. Well, genes in the younger man is just too strong. He buried the younger face to him, closer and deeper to his chest to give some sort of comfort for the latter. "No one will take away Emily from you. They won't make you apart from her. believe me." he said soothingly.

The day pass just like that with Renjun telling him everything that he's been holding from his childhood till now. The darkest part of him that he wish no one knew. The twisted mind he bear since teenager. He finally breath normally after several hours of heavy breathing then turn eratic but then normal again. It occurs for about a few times and Sicheng thankful that he is a doctor and know what to do in those situations.

"I'll help with everything i can."

-To be continued-