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34- Late Night Bus Ride

Emma

Without wasting another second, I sat my body up as Butts joined me as he held his coffee.

"I thought you did a wonderful job tonight," he complimented. "Never saw the movie, but I think I may actually go to Blockbuster this weekend to rent it. Cher almost seems like a troubled character."

"Yeah, maybe she is a little troubled," was all I could say while looking at the ground. "But I would give anything to live her life. Some might not agree, but I thought she had a pretty good father."

"As I said, I haven't seen the movie. I wouldn't know anything about that." Butts took a sigh before asking another question. "So, what's up? Why are you laying on the stage and crying? You should be out there celebrating your wonderful performance tonight."

Not realizing it, I placed my head on Butt's shoulder for support which was desperately needed at this point. Was this actually acceptable? I didn't care.

"Jeremy never showed up tonight. All of all people, he should've been the one to show up tonight. But no, he's probably out there somewhere gawking over Hailey and not thinking about his friend."

"Ah yes, Jeremy. Our dear friend Jeremy." Butts took a moment to be quiet. "He definitely does have something for Hailey. I'm sure he has a good reason to not show up tonight."

"I doubt it. For all I know, he could've been on some stupid date with Hailey. Hell, Hailey was supposed to be my understudy tonight and she wasn't even here. How could they not be out together forgetting and laughing about me? What kind of friend does that to another friend?

"Well, you have to remember that none of us are perfect. While I'm sure you may not like his reasons for not being here tonight, those reasons were likely important to him. The two of you are going through a lot right now. You're about to graduate high school. Big changes are coming. Sometimes the only thing you can do is forgive each other and move on."

"I'm not ready to move on," those words haunted me. It was as if I were sitting through the scariest horror movie of all time. Never would I have ever expected to say those true words. "I'm not ready."

In response, Butts stood up and helped me to also get up. Once my feet were standing, the bus driver just stood there, smiled, and nodded as if he were agreeing with me.

"What?" There was so much confusion about what this man was doing.

"Nobody is ever ready. You know, it's getting late. I'm sure your mother is probably worried about you. Why don't I take you home? We can talk more on the bus if you'd like."

The entire bus ride home, neither of us said a single thing. What was I supposed to say? It seemed like everything that needed to be said had already been mentioned. All I knew was that I couldn't forgive Jeremy and I certainly couldn't move on with my life because I wasn't ready. Why wasn't I ready? Why?

"Alright, looks like we made it," stated Butts as he parked the bus at the bus stop. "It's almost like you were the only person that went to school today." Sure, that joke would've been funny if I were in a laughing mood. But I wasn't.

"I miss my dad," my mouth randomly stated out of thin air. Where did those words come from? This night was full of surprises. "I would give anything for him to be alive today." With that, those words had Butts sitting on the seat on the other side from me. He was prepared to listen to whatever I was about to say.

"How is he doctor? Asked my mommy as my large extended family waited in the waiting room of the hospital. They were all hoping for some type of positive news.

"He's not doing well. He's not responding to anything." The doctor had a great sorrowful look on his face. "We're thinking that he may not make it through the night. Probably a good idea that you all said goodbye to him."

One by one, everyone in my family got to talk to him. For whatever reason, I couldn't do it and just spent the next several hours in the waiting room. Around two in the morning, something weird happened. It was like someone was calling out my name. With some of my family sleeping in the waiting room, I made my way into my daddy's room. He was awake. My abuela was sleeping on the floor.

"Emma," my daddy could barely say while being hooked up to too many tubes. "I'm glad you're here. Can I see your hand?"

My hand? He wanted to hold it. Of course, walking up to him, I let him do just that. For some reason, he wept over it like a baby until he got control of himself. Slowly, he was able to communicate with me.

"Emma, I know at this point, I won't be able to see you finish that racecar. But I'm proud of you anyway." We were both slowly tearing up. "I'm proud of the young girl you've become. I'm proud of the woman you will be someday. I know that someday you'll get the car finished. I know that you're going to do great things with your life. I can picture it now. You'll be NASCAR's top driver." With those waterworks, he let out a smile and squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry I'm going to miss your life. I wish I could walk you down the aisle at your wedding. But know this. I'll always be there with you in spirit. Whatever you go through, you can always remember me." There was a scary brief pause. "I love you, Emma. I love you."

Just like that, he shut those eyelids and breathed his last breath. My whole body trembled with my throat feeling sore. I felt lifeless. I felt helpless. I couldn't do anything as nurses rushed into the room in response to what had just happened. 

"Your dad sounds like he was a great man," Butts responded. "I'm sure he would've been proud of you."

"Yeah, I'd like to think he would be."

Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading remember to comment and vote.

Do you remember Blockbuster? Did you ever rent movies from there?

Thoughts on Emma missing her dad?