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40: Bad Friends

Emma

"Where were you tonight?" I asked Jeremy who took a seat next to me and also sat against the tire. "You forgot about my showcase. Where were you?"

Part of me didn't want an answer. There probably wasn't a good answer to begin with. Mostly, I just wanted to slap that face of his until it bled. And it was a possibility with an uncontrollable tight fist against my forehead. Out of all people, Jeremy had betrayed me. I would never do that to him. Never. Jeremy took a moment to breathe before giving me an answer. He seemed a little hesitant about whatever was about to be said.

"Hailey took me to get ice cream as an apology for crashing into my bike. We also went to the beach."

Wait a minute, Jeremy and Hailey actually talked and hung out for the first time today? Never thought I'd live to see the day when that actually happened. Deep down, I knew I needed to be happy for him. His dream literally came true. He got to hang out with the girl of his dreams. That happiness couldn't be found. Deep down, I wanted to slap Jeremy all the more. Heck, there was an urge to scream in his ears.

"Oh," was what I could slowly muster up. "Guess that explains why she wasn't there tonight as my understudy." Tears desperately wanted to leave my eyes and travel down my cheeks. I couldn't let that happen.

"Yeah, sorry about that." Jeremy placed a palm over my shoulder and rubbed it. "But I'm sure you did a dope job with your monologue."

"I probably was better off without Hailey there anyways," I whispered to myself hoping that Jeremy didn't hear me. It surprised me that I actually said that.  

"What do you mean you were better off without her?" His palm found itself on my knee.

Just like that, it was all released. Nothing could be controlled. "If she were there, she probably would've taken my spot. Mr. Wayde acts like Hailey is an angel. He was willing to let Hailey take my spot tonight and drop me. All because she's better at me than everything." My brain shut off and just kept talking without thought. "She has more friends, she's smarter, she's prettier, she's popular, and she's rich. The little whore has everything. Everything." At that moment, my fist banged on the tire a couple of times hoping that it would somehow pop. But it didn't.

This all took Jeremy by shock as our eyes met. "Emma, what are you talking about? Like, why are you comparing yourself to Hailey? Who cares if you're not Hailey? You're Emma."

What kind of reassurance was that? In response, my muscles grew tight with a body that was heating up. My breathing rapidly increased as my body stood from the tire and picked up a little piece of junk off the ground and threw it as far as I could. Jeremy continued to just sit there.

"Who cares if I'm not Hailey? Who cares? Dude, are you that stupid? Seriously? Dude, look at yourself! You act like Hailey is the most important person in this world. You act like she's a god! To you, she's the most important person in this world!" In another moment, something else was picked up. This time, it was crushed. "You don't give a crap about me anymore! You don't." At that point, I fell to the ground on my knees and released the tears.

Jeremy stood up and helped me up from the ground. Our eyes were locked again with both our fingers in connection to each other. He tried to give me a look of reassurance while wiping a couple of tears away.

"Dude, how could I not give a crap about you? You're my best friend. We've been together through thick and thin for the last ten years. That's never going to change. And you know, how important Hailey is to me. You know spending tonight with Hailey was literally a dream come true. Sure, I made a mistake, but shouldn't you be happy? Aren't friends supposed to support each other?"

At that point, I couldn't look him in the eyes. Instead, my sight met the ground and continued to stay there. But we were still holding on to each other.

"I know. I know. Friends are supposed to support each other. I should be happy for you." Was I ready for what I was about to say next? Not really. "But I'm not. I'm not happy for you. I know that makes me a lame friend, but I don't care. Hailey doesn't deserve someone like you. You deserve someone better. You deserve someone who cares about you. You deserve someone who knows you well enough. But it's not Hailey. It's not. And I don't care about what some stupid program called Facebook has to say. Facebook is wrong. Facebook doesn't control your life."

"What are you trying to say, Emma?" With every effort, the boy grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "We're friends, you can tell me anything. Anything at all."

What was I trying to say? Was now the right time to say what I wanted to say? My heart pounded thinking about it. My stomach became nauseous at the thought. This was it. This was the moment. Everything could change at this moment. Our bodies grew closer to each other as Jeremy continued to wait for a response. One of my hands found itself on his covered stomach. I was tempted to do so much more.

Things turned into a shocking turn of events. Heck, I even surprised myself by letting go completely. "I can't. I just can't. I'm sorry." Just like that, I ran straight to my house unsure of what happened in the last five minutes. Part of me never wanted to see Jeremy again. Why couldn't I talk to him? Sure, I was already being honest with him, but why couldn't I be more honest? My mind pondered on these questions while I crashed onto my bed and cried myself to sleep.

That was quite a sad chapter. Hope it wasn't too sad. Don't forget to comment and vote!

Have you ever wanted to kiss a friend?

Should Emma have kissed Jeremy?

Is Jeremy a bad friend?

Will their friendship survive?