43. Changing Rules

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This chapter is dedicated to Alyssa, with my thanks.
There will be at least 2 more chapters posted today; I'm spacing them out through the day because I know that when I post a bunch together people forget to vote/comment. And I'd love to hear what you think is coming after this, if you have time to leave a comment before the next one appears.



I could hear voices in the background as I played my little game. I'd almost jumped out of my skin when I heard the back door open. But then I could hear the vacuum; and that was too loud to make out what they were saying. I could only catch a few words, so I let myself focus on putting the penguins in their boxes and giving them little toys. It was easy enough that I could do it, hard enough to be fun, and cute enough to make me laugh like a little kid. Perfect.

I did look across at the packs of diapers on the floor. Mum wanted me to wear one, even though there was no chance I would need it before bedtime. I might still be tired, and a hot bath had left me feeling a little sleepy, but I knew I still wouldn't have an accident unless Lindy was around with her bowl of water. There was no real need for me to wear them, but Mum wanted me to. And they were more comfortable than they had any right to be, so I didn't object. Wouldn't it be easier for me to put them on by myself? But Mum had told me to wait, and I was going to prove what a good girl I could be. Going by the letter of her instructions, instead of trying to work out what she had meant, was the behaviour of a small child. So perhaps that was the point; she might just have wanted to see that I could act little when she wasn't here watching me. Taking away responsibilities was somehow equivalent to restricting my rights, so I wondered how long it would take for Mum to come and put one of the pull-ups on me. It would only take seconds when she got here, but I was determined that I would wait like she had said.

When I heard footsteps on the stairs my heart raced again. Was this Mum, ready to finish getting me dressed, or Lindy coming to take photos and humiliate me? I didn't think she would, because she knew how much trouble that would get her in with Mum. But the fear was still there, setting my nerves on edge. It was scary, but the more I analysed that feeling the more I realised it was the same anxiety you might feel on a rollercoaster, slowly approaching the point where gravity would take over. It was exhilarating, so long as I knew on some level that nothing bad was really going to happen.

"There's my baby," Mum said with a smile. She had a plastic basket in her hands, and I wondered what she was bringing up. It was the kind of container we would have used to carry soap and shampoo to the bathroom when we used to go camping; lots of holes, but not enough to see what was inside. Except for one bottle poking above the rim, which looked like it said 'baby' on it in large, friendly letters. I squinted, tried to make out the next line from the few lines I could see. Baby oil? But I wasn't really a baby, I wouldn't need–

"Let's get you properly protected, then," Mum interrupted my thoughts, and I did my best to only think about what she was saying. I didn't need to be making guesses when she was going to tell me everything. "I'm sorry it took me so long. I put our dinner on and asked Lindy to watch it for me, while she's the big girl today. I hope I didn't leave you out of diapers too long. You didn't have another accident did you?"

I could have reminded her that I wasn't really a baby. I could have laughed at how silly she was being, or asked her to stop. But my cheeks were red, and I was practically shaking in anticipation. She was treating me just like a baby, and I had no words for the way it made me feel. But I knew I didn't want that feeling to end yet, so I just shook my head. I didn't know if she was planning to keep on talking like this when I came down for dinner, but I was sure that I would be unable to speak with embarrassment if Lindy saw any hint of this. It was too much to even imagine; but when I tried to tell myself that it was a bad thing my mind was blank. I knew this was an intense feeling, but I didn't have the first idea whether it was something I liked or not.

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