Can't Fight It

chapter eleven

June 2016

Camila's POV

Touring is fun but it is literally the most mentally and physically exhausting thing I have ever done. The girls make it so worth it though. We always have so much fun that I forget to be tired. That's something I'm gonna struggle with when I'm on my own.

We had just finished our show in Curitiba, Brazil and I was laying on one of the couches in the back dressing room while listening to music. As Wait by M83 blasted through my headphones, I tried to think of how much different life would be after I left the group. The girls had assured me we would stay close and I believe them...mostly. It's just that I know how these things go: you promise to stay in touch but life gets in the way and you drift apart. It happened with my friends from Miami, Sandra and Marielle. After The XFactor, we made a pact to stay close but...now I barely talk to them.

These girls were my sisters, besides Lauren. She was something else but nonetheless she was a huge part of my life. We've all experienced the same things on this ride and no one else can relate to that. Y/N understands the industry and the struggles but she wasn't here when everything was going down.

She wasn't here when the girls stayed up with me and Lauren to assure us our relationship wasn't going to ruin the band like we were told. She wasn't here to console Ally when she was told she needed to go on a diet, or when a producer handed her a thong to wear. She wasn't here to comfort Dinah when her family started distancing themselves from her because of her career. She wasn't here when Normani was getting death threats and being called racial slurs so much she almost quit music altogether. No, these were things only the five of us had been through as a group. And it was going to be hard to be away from the people who have been there the whole time.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I jumped up, pulling out my earbuds. "Why are you crying?" Lauren asked, taking a seat beside me.

I brought my hands to my cheeks, surprised to find tears running down them. "I didn't know I was." I chuckled. "It's fine though. What's up?"

Lauren clearly didn't believe me but she brushed it off. "You're not getting away with that but, first, I do have something I want to talk to you about."

"What is it?"

I watched as Lauren looked away from me, wringing out her hands nervously. "Well...I've been having meetings with different execs and um..." she took a deep breath. "They're letting me come out."

"What?" I asked, sitting up straighter. "Really?"

"Yeah." Lauren nodded, still avoiding my gaze. "There's a few reasons for it that I don't fully understand but, yeah. They're setting me up with Lucy for it."

"Lucy? Vives?"

"Yeah. I guess she's trying to break into the modeling world and into music somewhat. Her dad pulled some strings. So, I get to come out and she gets to make a name for herself." I listened to Lauren halfheartedly. This was a good thing, a great thing even. But, selfishly, I was still pissed off. This was a step in the right direction though. Maybe soon, I could come out too. "They're gonna leak a picture of us kissing. They wanna get it at my cousin's wedding when I go. Then they'll have me release a statement later." She looked over at me finally. "Are you mad?"

"No," I answered far too quickly. "I'm happy for you." I have her a forced smile.

"Thanks." She smiled though I knew she saw right through me. "They're still setting me up with Ty afterwards. Something about not wanting people to get the wrong idea. I guess being with a girl too long is too much for them. They just want it long enough so I can 'have a reason' to come out as bi but still appeal to guys."