Affinity

Chapter 26 - Mara

a/n: hello kind friends, D here. Just popping in to quickly plug mine and Hemza's socials because I am a sell out. I'm nrdgrl_ on insta, nrdgrl__ on tiktok and you can find hemza on insta at Hemza <3 come say hi :) 

"Miko, your dad died before you were even born."

The words echoed in her ears endlessly, like a bouncy ball stuck in an endless, frantic pattern in a small space. Vertigo and nausea washed over Emiko and it took all she had to not succumb to the rising bile. The early morning light that had filtered in the apartment shifted to a pale blue.

A scene that had once given a feeling of warmth and comfort was now a frigid wasteland. A cold settled into her bones that she doubted even the warmest of baths or soups couldn't banish. The furniture and trinkets that decorated the apartment now looked like cruel bits and bobs decorating some fun house. A warped imitation of reality that was an insult to the real thing.

As she desperately glanced about, hoping to take solace in any of these items, find an anchor in the nostalgia of it all, she found no salvation. She was well and truly adrift at sea, barely treading water with the waves slamming into her repeatedly, rocking her and causing her stomach to turn again and again.

"What did you just say?" Emiko finally managed to choke out, her voice catching as she struggled to spit the words out. It was a herculean effort, speaking past the boulder sitting heavy in her throat.

"Oh, you know exactly what I said, Miko. You've got two ears and a brain between them, goodness knows you don't use it, though," Mara said with a giggle at her own jest.

Emiko opened and closed her mouth several times, once again finding herself speechless.

"Well, I guess like always I have to spell it out for you, since you're slow on the uptake," Mara cooed, a hint of exasperation and exhaustion tinting her singsong voice.

"Your dad was supposed to be a pawn for me to manipulate for information for my master, but I made a mistake and got pregnant with you and had to keep up the charade. My master was... less than pleased I had slipped up the way I had. So he ordered me to kill the low level hero trash. He wasn't as useful to us as we'd thought. Guess that's what you get with a flunky of hero society."

Her stomach roiled, bile rising in her throat like an oceanic tide.

"Suggestor," she spat the name out like a curse. "What a waste of time he was. Wasn't nearly as helpful as I had hoped. I'm just thankful my master gave me the chance to fix my mess and rid the world of that failed hero. He even let me have you, although it was more his own curiosity of what your quirk would be, based on your dad's and mine."

A splitting pain pierced Emiko's head as the word mistake rang through her head, in turning her head away from Mara, she saw a scene play out in the kitchen area. It was her 4 year old self, fat tears welled up in her eyes as she glanced up at a younger version of her mother. She had just broken a cup and was looking in terror at Mara, whose face was screwed up in fury.

"Unbelievable! You're such a fucking klutz, Emiko! You're nothing but a mistake, I should never have kept you!" Mara had screamed, her arm a blur as her hand lashed out and struck the 4 year old Emiko across the face with a resounding 'smack!'.

The young Emiko dared not make any noise, the tears merely flowed more freely. She had learned very early on that it would not do to start bawling when her mother was disciplining her. Acting like a whiny brat only brought more pain. Holding her tongue was the only way to make the pain stop sooner, the only way to ensure that the pain and violence and anger would stop.

Her cheek was stinging and the tears threatened to overflow. She dug her fingernails into the soft skin on the inside of her wrist, bit down on her lip to stop the sobs from escaping. Blood had seeped into her mouth and stained her teeth a terrifying pink, but the young girl hadn't let a single sob escape her lips.

"What good is a child who can't even stop the glassware from shattering, Emiko? What good are you?"

Another smack across her cheek, and a sob burst from her chest.

"I'm so sorry, mama. I'm sorry." the tears were flowing freely now, and Emiko couldn't find the strength to stop them. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again!"

A cruel laugh snapped her back to the present, and Emiko shook her head softly to rid herself of that painful memory, breathing heavily as the fog cleared from her brain.

"Really though, it all worked out in the end. You were unloaded far sooner than I ever could have hoped for, thanks to your nosey aunt. Which, in turn, gave me time to work on more projects for my master."

Her mind was reeling, still. The words all laid out made sense and formed a sentence that she understood theoretically, but when she combined them together she couldn't quite grasp what her mother was saying.

My entire childhood was a lie? Every single thing I thought I-

No, she's lying. She's lying, Emi.

Everything I thought I knew is a lie? Dad?

No, Emi. I promise. She isn't telling the truth, kid. I promise.

Dad, it's true. It has to be true - she wouldn't lie.

Hisato's face appeared in her mind as it had a million times before. His dark hair falling into his eyes, the way his teeth always poked through when he smiled. She could see the way the corners of his eyes crinkled and his one slightly wonky front tooth. She could see the broad expanse of his palms and the small scars that littered the surface of his arms. His soft citrus scent mingling with the tobacco of his pipe - the way his pants were never quite long enough for his legs.

All of this - all the memories of a person she'd never even known made it nearly impossible for her to breathe. For years, the person she'd built her life around hadn't even known her. She'd never known them. She'd never been held in her fathers arms, had only smelt that warm citrus scent on his clothes. She'd never wrapped herself up in his cape to stop him from going to work. He'd never taught her to play the ukulele or taught her how to sing or fight.

He was calling out to her, begging her not to listen as her mother continued detailing the lies she'd been believing for years, but she only shook her head sadly. Resigned to the fact that nothing she thought she knew had been reality.

—-----------------------------------------

Mara left the room shortly after she'd come in, leaving Emiko bound to the chair.

Alone with her thoughts, her mind reeled. Each memory she held dear now seemed to be tinted with a border of darkness, cloudy and unfocused. She tried to focus on them, tried to hold them tighter with trembling hands, but they slipped away.

One by one, she shattered into nothingness.

Each carefully crafted piece of herself splintered like her ceramic animals in her hands, crumbling into a state of fractured disarray on the concrete floor of the darkened room she found herself trapped in.

Her fathers laugh.

The sound of a ukelele playing through the sun soaked living room.

Her mothers small smiles, the way her hair swirled around the room as she danced.

The swell of pride she felt when she looked at her fathers hero costume.

The sun soaked living room of her childhood.

It all faded away until nothing left, until Emiko was nothing but a trembling ball of terror and fear and loss strapped to a metal chair.