Affinity

Chapter 32 - Alone, yet again

a/n: we hit 5k on ff.net so here's a bonus chapter for you all in celebration. thank you from the bottom of our butts <3 

 As Emiko finally came to, she realized quite quickly that her hands were covered in tape and tubes. The fabric that was tucked around her was rough and scratchy and smelt of bleach and antiseptic. Actually, the entire room around her seemed to have been bathed in bleach, judging by the way the smell was burning into her nostrils.

She opened her eyes, wincing as the fluorescent overhead lights burned into her vision. Her right eye throbbed in pain, and she soon remembered why. Her fingers moved slowly up to her face, brushing lightly over the patch that covered the injury. Her movements felt slow and sluggish, as if she was moving through jell-o. She tried to look around, but her head wouldn't move. Even the sounds around her seemed muffled, like her head was dunked underneath the water.

" 'ello?" she called, her throat raw and voice cracking as she tried to speak. Her skin felt dry and cracked, and the feeling reminded her of the summer she'd spent hours laying in the sun to attempt to tan, only to be burnt to a crisp. She could still remember the blisters that had formed on her shoulders, the way her skin had stretched painfully tight.

She tried to keep calm in her bed, trying to stop the rising tide of panic that was growing larger by the second. Her aunt wasn't in the room, neither were there any windows to the hallways or to the outside so she could at least see what time it was. Her fingers couldn't find the telltale red button that she knew would send nurses running, so Emiko just... lay there.

Her arms hung loosely at her sides and her head lolled slightly to the right. Her breathing grew more rapid with each minute that passed. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she bit her lip as the panic grew more intense.

It felt like a tidal wave hammering against her already weak legs, the way those feelings swelled and grew and festered. It was an unstoppable force, one that she hadn't felt in days.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK.

Soon, she couldn't hold back the tears. Soon, they poured down her cheeks and dripped onto the fabric that lay loosely over her chest. The hospital gown was much too large for her and it left her frame draped in a faded out blue blanket, one that had been run through an industrial strength washing machine a few too many times, the seams fraying along the edge, the fabric pilling into tiny little balls with the slightest movement.

"Is anyone there?" She cried, trying to move her body again. Again, though, pain won out. Her bones felt leaden and heavy, and her arms seemingly couldn't support the weight of her body as she tried to sit up. Frustration grew like a disease in her stomach, and she tightened her fingers almost painfully. Her nails burrowed into the soft cotton that wrapped tightly around the palms of her hands as she fought to keep her breathing in check.

"Sakura?" Emiko called, desperate to see a familiar face. Desperate for the comfort her aunt brought her. For a smile, a soft touch across her sweaty forehead, for a gentle kiss. Any comfort would do, and Emiko couldn't help the anger that grew as she realized nobody was coming for her. Again.

Yet again, Emiko found herself alone in a room where she could find no comfort. She found herself surrounded by blank walls and machines and hooked up with tubes, and nobody was there. Despite her insistence that she never wanted to go to the hospital, Sakura left her alone. Her limbs ached and her back tensed and her eye had left a pounding headache living in her skull, and she had nobody to cling to while she cried. She had nobody to cry to about the things her mother had said and done, the things she'd learned only the day before, and that made her so angry she could barely see straight.