Lorena Bentlee Swan (Vladimir Romania Fanfiction)

Chapter Seven

Lorena's POV
It's been 3 weeks, 3 weeks since I found out about the betrayal and I locked myself in my bedroom. I haven't come out of my room once or went into my headspace, I just don't have it in me anymore. I'm so numb now, I'm so numb that I don't feel anything and when I do feel something, it's usually sadness or anger. Anger at Vladimir, anger at Stefan, anger at my family, anger at myself, and anger at the world. I've destroyed anything and everything in my room that had anything to do with Vladimir. I want nothing to do with him anymore, nothing at all, but yet, a deep piece of my heart and soul longs for him despite what he did. My heart and soul wants me to forgive him and take him back, but my mind knows better. Listen to your mind, not your heart.

I was lying on my bed, wrapped in a messy cocoon of blankets, pillows, and stuffies, staring at the wall and letting silent tears run down my face. I was so heartbroken and numb that I'd resorted to cutting myself just to feel something, anything. Even though the cuts would heal as soon as I made them and leave barely noticeable scars in their wake, I would still be fascinated by them and would trace over them for hours. I was also sketching quite often, getting my mental pain out on paper, and I would hide the sketches or ball them up and throw them in the overflowing wastebasket. The sketches were all in black and white, devoid of color, sketches that were very dark in nature. I had sketched a girl standing on the edge of a cliff, getting ready to jump, a girl with bleeding wrists, a girl who was hung. There was also a sketch of a boy with his hand deep inside a girl's chest, ripping her heart out of her chest while it dripped blood all over the place. There were skulls and other very disturbing things on sketches all over my room. I had paper, pencils, pens, clothes, etc. all over the floor.

I caught a wolf's scent as there was a knock on my door. I didn't bother rolling over to try and tell who was knocking. I had my door locked anyway.

"Lorena, it's Seth. Please let me in, everyone is worried about you, I'm worried about you." The 16 year old boy's voice drifted through the door.

I sniffled and said "Please Seth, go away. Leave me to wallow in my misery." as my voice broke.

The truth was, I was becoming suicidal and if it was possible for me to commit suicide, I would've done it by now. I couldn't live with Vladimir's betrayal, but I couldn't live without him either. There was a part of me that was still deeply in love with the blonde one whether I liked it or not. Living without Vladimir and living with his betrayal, knowing that I wasn't and would never be good enough for him because I wasn't ready to give it up was slowly killing me. I knew I needed to hunt, but I'd rather starve. Going to the Volturi, doing something stupid, and getting caught by them and killed sounded good right about now.

"Lorena please, you're slowly killing yourself. You need to hunt, you've been in that room of yours since the day Vladimir left." Seth pleaded and I growled, picking up a glass unicorn knickknack that Bella had bought for me and throwing it at the door.

"I SAID GO THE FUCK AWAY AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, GODDAMMIT! I DON'T NEED YOU SETH, I DON'T NEED ANYONE OR ANYBODY AND I ESPECIALLY DON'T NEED TO LEAVE THIS ROOM!" I screamed at him as the unicorn shattered into a million pieces.

I heard Seth leave and I buried my face in my pillows and sobbed. What had I done? What was I becoming?

Esme's POV
After I heard Lorena screaming at Seth, I sighed and put my head in my hands, feeling the dry tears building up in my eyes. We had all tried to get Lorena to come out, to help her, but she was pushing us all away. It hurt me more than anything to know that my little girl, my sweet innocent baby, was in so much pain and so heartbroken and that there was nothing I could do to help her. She was suffering at the hands of Vladimir, the betrayer, and I couldn't help her because she wasn't letting anyone get anywhere near her. I heard Carlisle come up behind me in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head on my shoulder, his mouth next to my ear.

"I know Esmè, I know, I'm worried about her too. She just needs time to process and overcome her grief." Carlisle murmured and I could hear the pain in his voice. He was hurting just as much as I was, but our pain was nowhere near Lorena's.

"Time Carlisle, time? It's been 3 weeks and she refuses to come out of her room or let anyone get near her. She just screamed at Seth, she hasn't even hunted in 3 weeks. She has to be thirsty by now." I said as I began dry-sobbing quietly. I didn't have gifts like Lorena's, I couldn't still cry like a human being. Lorena was the only one that could besides Renesme. Edward, Bella, and Renesme have been at the cottage since all of this happened. Bella is worried that something will happen to Renesme, that Lorena could accidentally hurt her in her grief, so she isn't letting Renesme come to our house.

"I know that this is hard Esmè, but we must persevere, for Lorena's sake. It's breaking my heart too that she's in so much pain, but we just need to take a step back, give her time, and let her process her grief in her own time. She'll heal, she's a fighter, that girl never gives up, never stops trying. We just need to be patient and kind and gentle and loving and understanding with her, Esmè." Carlisle said quietly. He started kissing from my chin to the shell of my ear, letting the tip of his tongue dart out and trace it, making a shiver go up my spine.

"Carlisle please, not right now. I'm much too worried about Lorena and I wouldn't be able to make it pleasurable for you as you do for me." I murmured, moving away from my husband and going over to the table in the kitchen, sitting at it. I put my head in my hands again and sighed. I wanted nothing more than to help Lorena, to heal her, to take this pain from her and experience it for myself than to have her suffer. She was my youngest daughter, my youngest baby girl besides Bella, and I couldn't help her, I just couldn't help her because she wasn't letting me in, she wasn't letting anyone in.

She was only 16, she was far too young to experience this pain. Carlisle sat across from me and gently grabbed one of my hands in his own, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss the back of my hand and each individual knuckle. I smiled softly, Carlisle was doing what he did best; trying to comfort me and make me feel better. Carlisle had a very gentle, loving nature and that was why he was such a good and well-loved doctor here in Forks. He was such a gentleman, I really got lucky with him.

"I love you, Esmè." Carlisle said, kissing the back of my hand again.

"I love you too, Carlisle." I replied, leaning across the table and kissing him softly, lovingly.

Vladimir's POV
Stefan and I had found a small cabin in the woods surrounding Forks to stay in until Lorena healed. I felt so guilty, so ashamed. I'm not even a homosexual, but yet I slept with Stefan, but I cannot lie and said he coerced me because what happened that day, I had initiated all of it. I was the one at fault here, I was the one completely at fault. Yes, Stefan had willingly participated, but I had still been the one to initiate sexual contact between us. I've never felt more guilty, ashamed, and disgusted by my own actions in my life. Usually I just do what I want when I want and don't give a damn about the consequences of my actions, but that all changed after I met Lorena.

Our bond meant that I could feel all her pain even when she wasn't around me. I felt horrible. My beautiful, sweet, innocent, loving, caring, childlike baby girl who I missed terribly, but she didn't want me anymore, not after what I've done to her, the way I betrayed her, and I didn't blame her the least bit. I wouldn't want me either. I was sitting on a small couch by the fireplace and as soon as thoughts of Lorena entered my mind, how terribly I miss her, I started dry-sobbing.

"Oh Lorena, sweetheart, I miss you so much. I love you so, so, so very much, more than you'll ever know or be able to comprehend. Please come back to me baby girl, I need you." I said in a broken voice. I only wanted my baby back and I couldn't have her because she didn't want me and it was my fault, completely my fault.

I need to fix this.