b.p ✰ hes; major edits

00.07

00.07 - Painfully remembering the Memories   - warning before reading ; some content in this chapter might be a little triggering, suicidal thoughts and actions take place.  

               After the discussion, Louis let me stay in my 'room' until dinner to give me some alone time and to take a nap.  I didn't agree with what he had to say, I didn't need to repay him with anything.  I let out a huff, feeling a tear run down my face, and I aggressively whipped it away.  I couldn't believe I was so weak that  I couldn't stop crying every single minute of the day.  My muscles were aching and my head was pounding; I felt as if I wanted to go to sleep for a long time, as if I was dead.  

I wondered what it would be like if I was dead.  I could be at peace with everything and nothing bad would come out of it, just like I had fallen in a black hole.  I remember Louis talking about a razor in the bathroom when I needed to shave, and with that my head looked towards the bathroom door.  I felt my body get up from the bed, my gaze still towards the bathroom.  I took small steps to the door, hoping Harry or Louis wouldn't hear, they did think I was taking a nap after all.

I opened the door with ease, hoping it wouldn't creak loudly and give everything away.  I carefully shut the door and locked it, just in case one of them were to come in and try to stop me.  I needed to escape this place, unfortunately, this was the only way out with them two.  

I picked up the razor, examining it before taking a short breath.  I pressed it against my wrist with some force and pulled across.  I let out the breath and felt butterflies in my stomach.  I couldn't believe I did that.  There was a stinging pain that was left behind and I let out a wince.  I heard a knock on my original bedroom door and heard it creak open.  

"Belle? Are you in here?" Louis' voice rang through the room.  I let out a gasp and began to panic.  "Annabelle, where are you?" 

I let out a whimper before turning on the faucet, hoping that the blood would wash away.  I put my wrist under the water, and ended up letting out a screech, noticing how hot it was.  I heard footsteps reach the door and the door handle began to move back and forth.  I was terrified and backed up into the shower. 

"Annabelle, I'm not messing around, you better come out here right now and your punishment won't be as bad," He stated with an angry tint. but you could tell he was trying to be calm.  I didn't know whether to believe him or to find a way to escape.  

"Are you telling the truth?" I whispered to him, "I don't like liars." 

"Yes, I am telling the truth, just come out and everything will be ok," He said, while I glanced at my wrist, seeing the blood still running down my hand.  

I cautiously walked towards the door and unlocked it.  The door bursted open and I backed up to let Louis in, and he had a angry expression on his face.  He was about to let out harsh words but stopped as he saw the razor on the counter, blood surrounding it and his eyes flickered down to my wrist.  

"Why?" Is all he asked.  I didn't know how to explain it to him, so I put my gaze on the floor and rocked back and forth on my heels.  "Why did you do this?" He asked again.

"I don't know, I just wanted to escape from here.  I don't want this Louis, I don't want to give birth to his children, I want to be at home with my mom even if she isn't my mom.  I want to leave and this would be the only way I could leave here and not have to deal with you, or Harry, or anyone else in this world.  I could finally be free Louis," I said, whispering the last night.  Louis walked over to me, pulling me into a hug, which I didn't return back.  

"Belle, this isn't the way you should handle things, what would've happened if I wasn't here to stop you? I would've lost my only sibling and the only family I have left.  I know you don't want any of this, but I'm sorry Annabelle.  One day, you'll like all of this and everything will be alright."

"How could you say that?!" I screamed, "I didn't want any of this and I still don't.  Everything will not be alright, and I will never like this.  I would have to be physically messed up in my mind to enjoy my brother using me and my body for birth.  I will never be able to forgive you, I hate you."

I felt my face move to the left and a hard force hit my face.  I felt my face to feel a stinging pain and I looked up at Louis carefully, only to see his hand still in the air and his face was full of guilt

"I'm so -" He began to say, but I cut him off. 

"I've heard the enough from you," I stated, walking into my bedroom and sat on the bed, pulling the covers over my weak self.  

                One day I would succeed. 

Word Count: 926