Possessive

27| D E C E M B E R 2 5 T H

- S N O W -

I couldn't sleep. I watched the moon shine through the window then dip so it's lover could replace it. I think they were in a fight though because it became cloudy and gloomy soon, ironic really.

Eventually, at 5:24am, I got up. A heavy heart that wanted to be light from the life-changing news I got yesterday or early morning really, but this sadness has been carried with me for too long now.

I took the half hour before anyone woke up to dye my hair. Bella had boxes under the sink and gave me the grays and darker colors. It was a quite messy process but it made me feel a little better by the time I had washed it out and blow dried my hair, the color looking vibrant again. I blow dried it and straightened it, reaching just past my armpits.

I dragged myself to the closet, turning on the light, piecing together the outfit I wanted to wear for the day. I know what the day was besides Christmas, and I honestly wanted it to be over already.

Being casual and cozy, I slid on a pair of light gray sweatpants, the upper thighs and waist tighter while mid thigh and lower was straight legged and loose. I pulled on a red wool sweater that had white hearts scattered all over the material, the material warm and fuzzy. Lastly I pulled on a pair of fuzzy socks that were a matching red with the sweater. I pulled the necklaces out from under the clothing, examining the rings in the mirror, I didn't take them off, they still shined beautifully.

Tucking them back in, I made my way to the bed to slip my phone into the back pocket of the sweatpants, cleaning up the bed a little and beginning to walk out to the hallway silently and tip-toeing down the stairs to the living room where the Christmas tree still stood tall. I sighed as the house seemed bare of awake souls. It's about 6am, but it looks like night outside.

Thinking without being rational, I slowly step over the the grand piano on a small step to the side of the living room. It was like the one in my room, just in an open place. I sit myself down on the bench, pulling up the keys cover, my fingers gently gliding over the white and black keys. I pushed down Middle C by habit, my hand retracting as I listened as it rung out, no other noises but the chord, scared it awoke someone.

I was lost in a distant memory as I began to slowly push down keys, not in a random way, but one that is drilled into my head. The chords lined up with each other, my foot on the pedals, a beautiful melody being produced and ricocheted off the walls back into my ears, losing myself in a good way as I play a little faster.

"Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you," My eyes closed, losing myself to the music, "Oh shall I stay would it be a sin, Oh if I can't help falling in love with you."

I couldn't help the voice that I've kept locked away to shine in this moment, here and now. My soul sparking with laughter remembering mom using this song as my lullaby when I was a child, the usual faster paced song was stretched out longer and slower.

"Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling, so It goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. Oh, for I can't help falling in love with you. Oh, like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling, so It goes, some things are meant to be. Oh, take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you, Oh for I can't help falling in love with you."

The last chord rings out, echoing as I breathed heavily, a watery laugh rumbling from my chest as I brought my legs up to my chest, a sniffle tickling my nose.

"Don't give up on me yet momma," My eyes gloss over, looking out the window to the freezing weather, snow beginning to fall in its wake, "I still need to make it back to myself." I whisper with smeared tears under my eyes, smiling as snowflakes began to fall slowly, almost twinkling, no winking. For a little while, I watched the snow begin the get heavier and pack against the floor.