✔️ [Jaerosé] Because of our child

Chapter 20: Who am I to you?

After two weeks, Jaehyun returned home. He has stayed in military bases many times before but had never felt so happy to be home in the past. He was looking forward to seeing Jeongwoo and Chaeyoung.

When he was home, it seemed like Chaeyoung was not back from work yet. He then spent the time playing with Jeongwoo while the nanny prepared dinner before leaving.

Chaeyoung was finally home, Jaehyun noticed that she arrived home later than usual as compared to the past.

Over the dinner, Jaehyun then asked, "Has it been busy at the military hospital? You came back later than usual today."

"Oh, I had a change of workplace, I am working in Seoul hospital now." Chaeyoung was a bit surprised by Jaehyun's question then she realised that she hasn't updated Jaehyun about her change in workplace. 

"What? So you are in the same hospital as hyung and Jennie noona? When did you change?" Jaehyun looked at her in surprise.

"About a week ago?" Chaeyoung replied.

Jaehyun felt a sudden sense of disappointment wash over him. Chaeyoung had already changed her job for a week and yet she didn't update him immediately. Chaeyoung could sense Jaehyun turning silent all of a sudden, so she decided to ask him cautiously, "Are you ok?"

Jaehyun sighed, "To be honest, I am not. My wife changed job and I only knew a week later. Why can't you update me whenever there's something going on in your life?" Jaehyun was evidently upset as he raised his voice towards the end of the sentence.

Chaeyoung was slightly taken aback as she had never seen Jaehyun getting frustrated with her, "Sorry, I was busy adapting and it didn't cross my mind. I will take note in the future."

Jaehyun took a deep breath, seemingly regretting raising his voice at Chaeyoung, then asked in a lower voice, "why did you change job all of a sudden?"

"Just thought that it would be good to have a change of work environment." Chaeyoung shrugged her shoulders. After Jaehyun raised his voice earlier, she thought it would be better not to mention Naeun, for fear that it would further upset him. Little did she know that this decision of hers would lead to another argument in time to come.

They continued with their dinner and updated each other about their lives for the past 2 weeks, mainly Chaeyoung updating about Jeongwoo and Jaehyun sharing about his new workplace. Jaehyun also shared that he would be at home for another three days before reporting back to the military base again.

The next day, Jaehyun received a call from Taeyong.

"Jaehyun-ah, you back from your base?"

"Yes hyung, what's up?" Jaehyun was happy to receive a call from his brother. They have always been close since young.

"Just checking in on you and Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung is my colleague now, you know right?"

"Yes, she told me. Take care of her, hyung." Jaehyun smiled at the thought that Chaeyoung would be closer to his family members.

"Of course, whatever happened to her in the military hospital will not happen in the Seoul hospital." Taeyong replied, trying to reassure his brother.

"What happened to her in the military hospital?" Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows questioningly.

"She said the higher ups of the military base had forced her to leave. I figured that it would be your ex-girlfriend's father's doing again. But don't worry, such things wouldn't happen in our hospital. In fact, our director had been singing praises of Chaeyoung, I am sure she would do very well with us." Taeyong explained, but his last sentence was all muffled in Jaehyun's ears as he was too bothered about the first part of what his brother had said.

Jaehyun spent the rest of the day feeling his anger bottled up within him. Even Jeongwoo could sense that his father wasn't in the best of his mood, so he played on his own sensibly.

That night when Chaeyoung arrived home and greeted the father and son duo, Jaehyun ignored her completely. Sensing the something was wrong, Chaeyoung asked him if he was ok. Her eyes full of concern and innocence as she really did not know what happened to Jaehyun. Jaehyun turned and stared into Chaeyoung's eyes. The same woman who had crept into his heart unknowingly, and every time he thought the distance between them is disappearing, he would realize that she had always kept him out of her world. That hurt him deeply.

Angered by how innocent and concerned Chaeyoung could still look at this point, he grabbed Chaeyoung's arms with a lot of force and pushed her down into the sofa, then pressed against her, looked into her eyes, "who am I to you?!"

Chaeyoung was beyond shocked by Jaehyun's sudden outburst. She simply kept quiet and looked at Jaehyun, eyes mixed with fear and concern.

"Why didn't you tell me the real reason you had to leave the military hospital?! Do you know how upset I am when I always had to hear news about you from someone else? I have been trying hard to make us work but have you ever treated me like your husband?"

Taking some moments to digest what Jaehyun had just told her, Chaeyoung then took a deep breath and tried to remain calm as she replied, "I am sorry if my actions hurt you, I simply did not want to blow up the matter and upset you."

Jaehyun continued to stare at Chaeyoung, silent. Then Chaeyoung continued, "I grew up as an orphan and have always been alone. I am still learning how to be a mum, and now I have to learn how to be a wife without even getting into a proper relationship before. So I don't know how to share a lot of my feelings with others. If you expect me to be like other girls, always clinging to you, I don't think that's my personality. But if it makes you feel better, every time I am going through difficult times, I do  think of you. Really. Just that I don't know how to express myself." 

Jaehyun listened carefully as Chaeyoung said in all seriousness. His grips on Chaeyoung's hands also loosened slightly. He suddenly felt bad that he had lost his cool just because of a moment of impatience.

Jaehyun sighed, "I am not expecting you to cling to me. But can you promise me to put in effort in maintaining our relationship? At least by sharing with me what's in your life."

"Ok." Chaeyoung replied at an instant, expressionless. This made Jaehyun sigh again as he felt unimportant to Chaeyoung. It seemed as if she replied without giving it serious thoughts. What he didn't know was, Chaeyoung is a woman of her words. Deep inside Chaeyoung's heart, she has already made a secret vow to make it work.