Trailing Deep Waters (University Royalties #3)

Chapter 15

Trailing Deep Waters (University Royalties #3) - Chapter 15

HIS POV

"Hinahanap ka nila Andrea, why are you here?" A fair-skinned girl with pinkish lips and straight coal-colored hair was walking towards me.

"Okay ka lang ba, Isaac?" Nadia asked.

Now this is why she became my love interest when we were freshmen. Hindi ko na gusto ngayon si Nadia, alam ko naman sa sarili kong ayaw kong mawala ang friendship namin. But now, I'm really confused with my sexuality, do I like Nadia or Joaquin? Do I like women... or men?

I didn't know what to do. Bakit bigla akong naapektuhan sa pakikipag-usap ko sa isang lalaki? I felt attraction. Pero baka naman, nahihiya lang ako dahil natapunan ko siya  ng inumin. Baka hiya lang ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya dahil sa nagawa kong aksidente sa party. Hindi ko na talaga alam.

"Okay lang, kinakabag lang," I chuckled. I couldn't stare into her eyes because I was busy laughing everything off even if I wasn't okay... even if I was really lost.

She tucked strands of her hair flying off because of wind at the back of her ear. "Are you sure? You seem... to be not okay."

"I'm not doing good," I answered honestly.

"Why?" She sat beside me, and it did not affect me. Napalunok ako. I wanted to force myself to like Nadia again, hindi p'wedeng magkagusto ako sa lalaki... my dad will be disappointed. He might even hate me more than he hates my brother, Rev.

We were at the small cabana of our school which was the waiting area of students for their school bus and services when it's dismissal. I stayed here, staring at blank space. Even if it was our class break, I didn't have the appetite to eat. 

"Isaac? I asked, why aren't you doing good?" Niyugyog ako nang kaunti ni Nadia. "Did you hear me? Are you okay with telling me about it? You're worrying me, Isaac."

"Ah, gutom kasi ako," palusot ko.

Napakamot siya sa ulo niya, not believing it. "Then, should we eat? Do you want me to bring you food? Here, I have Stick-O." Natawa ako dahil nag-labas siya ng plastic na nasa bulsa niya na may lamang Stick-O.

"Salamat, Nads," I sincerely told her. I was biting the food she gave me, staring at somewhere else. "I'm just scared of my feelings that I have no control of."

"Allow yourself to feel those, you're human who's entitled to his or her emotions. May karapatan lahat ng may nararamdaman," she says. "I read this line somewhere... and I want you to know that whatever you're feeling is valid."

Instead of remembering how lost I am, I instead thought of Nadia's assuring words to me throughout the whole day.

Someone knocked at my door, making me stand up, turning the knob to open it.