My Sex Therapist

part 8

"that's beyond my boundar-"
"please, you don't have to fuck me, you don't even have to finger me, i just need you. i need you as a friend, as a therapist, not a sex therapist, a regular one. i need company, i need to talk to someone who understands me."
and then it hit me. what the fuck was i doing. calling my sex therapist late at night, knowing i have a boyfriend. i didn't know what to say so i hung up. i hung up the fucking phone. i fell back onto my bed and started to cry again. i couldn't believe what i had just done. i got up and went into the kitchen and grabbed a tub of ice cream and sat on the couch with a spoon. i put on my favorite movie, "Call Me By Your Name." this movie makes me feel like love isn't real so it's a pretty good time to watch it. it was just about the apricot scene when i heard a knock at my door. i had mascara dripping down my face and i looked a mess.
"ONE SECOND!"
i ran into the bathroom and wiped my face with a makeup wipe and quickly threw my hair into a bun and went to go get the door. it's kaiya
"girl are you good."
she looks me up and down. she's honestly the person i really needed to see right now.
"no, not really."
as tears started to stream down my face. she grabbed my arm and can inside as she closed the door.
"oh hunny what's wrong."
i gave her a hug and she squeezed me tightly. she brought me over to the couch and sat us down.
"girl tell me what's wrong please?"
"i just had the best orgasm of my entire life, and i didn't do it and neither did andré. i hate andre so much, and i no longer believe in love. i'm also watching call me by your name which makes me want to cry even more. one more thing i just fucking embarrassed the fuck out of myself and i can't undo it."
i put my face into her lap and she started to twirl my hair. 
"i have so many questions and i'm not really sure where to start."
"and im not sure if i can answer them."
"ok first, why don't you believe in love."
"because it's only true in movies and not even all of them, if love was real, then i'd be in love with andre."
"ok so not true but i won't get into it with you, why do you hate andré?"
"HES FUCKING GAY"
"WHAT?!?!?!"
"he's on a fucking 'business trip' with some dude that he's been fucking this whole time we've been together. he told me he was gay but he needs me to still be his girlfriend because he 'loves me' and he doesn't want his parents to know that he's gay, so i'm literally his fucking sex doll side bitch."
tears started running down my face again. she picked up my face so i could look at her.
"why are you letting this happen. fucking dump his ass. leave him. pack up his stuff in this apartment and leave it in the lobby. you deserve so much better lana. so much fucking better."
i put my head on her shoulder.
"i know kaiya, i know."
we sat in silence for a while. then she spoke up.
"so who's this mystery person that gave you 'the best orgasm ever' huh?...."