(Yours Series # 5) Always Yours (COMPLETED)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I was standing beside Iñigo as he was choosing the burial urn for his baby. He told me that he tried to delay this because this felt so permanent—na wala na talaga iyong baby nila ni Cha. And I knew that if he could avoid this, he would never do this... Because who would want to do this? Sino ba ang magulang na gustong maglibing ng anak nila? And Cha's not even here to hold his hand...

If there's indeed hell, I sincerely hope that whoever did this to their unborn child would burn there.

"Ikaw na lang pumili. Hindi ko talaga kaya," he told me before he walked out of the room.

Huminga ako nang malalim. I chose a light blue colored burial urn for their baby. Iñigo said that the baby's name would probably be Dylan kasi iyon lang daw ang maganda sa mga pagpipilian nila ni Cha... God... I was sure that Iñigo would have been a great father—I was sure that he would try to do everything right because he knew how it felt like to have everything wrong.

Tito Fred arrived shortly after. A small ceremony was held. Kami-kami lang iyong nandon. Dylan would be buried in the family plot katabi nung Mama nila Chester, pero dahil tulog pa si Cha, doon muna sa columbarium... Mabilis lang iyong ceremony. A short prayer was spoken. After that, isa-isa na silang nagalisan.

"Mauna na ako," Chester said.

"I'll stay here," I replied as I looked at Iñigo who was just staring at the place where his child was kept. Chester just nodded at me.

Tumingin siya kay Iñigo. "Take as much time as you need," he told me bago siya umalis.

We stayed here for a while. Iñigo was just standing there, not moving nor saying anything. Hindi rin naman ako makapagsalita kasi hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko... Because no matter how many times I'd done it, I would never be able to get used to informing parents about the death of their kids... I would always be haunted by the looks on their faces, by the sound of their cries. Ito siguro iyong pinakaayaw ko na parte ng trabaho ko. Because no parent should ever go through this—no parent should ever bury their child. The pain is insurmountable.

Tumingin siya sa akin. "Paano ko sasabihin kay Cha?"

"There's no good way to tell her," I told him.

He sadly smiled at me. "At least... at least kasama niya na iyong mga lola at lolo niya," sabi niya bago kami nagsimulang maglakad palabas ng sementeryo.

When we arrived back at the hospital, Iñigo told me that he'd go to Cha. Dumiretso ako sa locker para magpalit ng damit. I missed a lot of duty already, pero kahit siguro pagalitan ako, wala muna akong pakielam. I love my job, but it's not the most important thing in the world for me. Family will always take priority.

I began my duty. Nung nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na magpahinga, dumiretso ako doon sa vacant room na lagi naming pinupuntahan ni Chester. He once told me it was haunted, but never naman akong nakaramdam doon. It was comforting more than anything. Mas nakakatakot iyong buhay na kayang manakit kaysa sa patay.

I tried to take a nap, but my mind wouldn't let me. Paulit-ulit na naiisip ko iyong itsura ni Iñigo. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya icocomfort dahil kahit mga magulang ng pasyente ko hindi ko alam... Kaya nga mas bumabawi ako sa pagbibigay ng regalo sa mga bata kasi iyon iyong may kaya kong gawin...

"Kamusta si Inigo?" Chester asked when I heard the opening of the door.

"Bad," I replied.

Naupo siya sa may dulo ng kama. Nakatingin lang ako sa ceiling. I sighed kasi iyon na lang ang kaya kong gawin ngayon. I was tired of questioning life; I was tired of questioning why did this need to happen...