Stuck between You and Him || heejaywon ✓

I can't live without him - lhs

Jay wants to clear things out with Jungwon . He's desperate to meet him today so he went to his apartment early in the morning .

But Jungwon's not there . He already knocked few times on his door and abusively pressed the door bell but there's no Jungwon who opened it . The lady on the next door came out and told him that the younger went outside before he arrived . Maybe he already headed to their office . But it's quite early though .

So Jay , without any choice , drive his way to their office . The said place was still closed for costumers but he can already go inside since he's an employee there.

The building was big but Jay can easily spot him if he's just anywhere around but it seems luck won't side on him today , he can't see Jungwon anywhere inside the place.

To his disappointment , he just went outside to find him once again to the nearby places that he thought Jungwon might go . He kept calling him in hopes that the younger would answer his calls but just like yesterday , his phone was off .

Maybe he'll just ditch his work for today and focus on finding his boyfriend .

---

Heeseung woke up late that day with dried tears on his cheeks . He felt his head heavy maybe because he cried too much last night . His eyes were puffy and was obvious that he cried the night before .

He sat up on his bed and recalled everything that happened yesterday . It's still fresh for him . The pain still lingers in his mind and heart .

He then started to cry .

He just don't know why such thing happened to him . Is he that possessive that Jay felt suffocated and find a new lover ? Or does he really fell out of love ?

He is now blaming himself for their break up.

He knows that Jay is angry at him because he didn't find Jungwon when he came home last night . He's also angry at himself to be honest . Because what if something happened to the younger . It's all his fault . He just wished things never ended this way . If only he didn't made up a scene yesterday at the mall . If only he just keep everything he knew to himself . If only he let them be together . If only he just suffered alone for the sake of them .

But it's also unfair for him . He's the original . He must gatekeep what's his property .

Maybe whatever choice he'll choose , he'll end up suffering alone . Maybe that's the reason why he's existing .

He's so busy in his thoughts that he never noticed that his phone was vibrating few times already .

Then a faint 'ting!' was heard .

He lazily grabbed his phone on the bedside table . He wondered how and why he is sleeping at their room because he clearly remembered that he slept at the couch last night but ignored the thoughts of it and focused on his phone .

It was Jake who texted and said that he's already outside their house .

He then stood up and fixed himself even though he's not in the mood to do anything today and opened the door of his room .

He roamed his eyes on the living room and on the kitchen but Jay is not present . What would he expect ? Jay might be at work at that hour or maybe had gone out because he doesn't want to see him . He probably went somewhere to find Jungwon . The guy who he thinks that Jay had chose .

He huffed in disappointment and opened the main door . Jake popped out in an instant with foods on his both hands .

" Hey sweetie .. I brought you your favorite foods . I know you're hungry " he raised both of his hands in front of him with wide smile . He's literally a sunshine in a not so fine weather . It's gloomy outside but Jake still shined .

" What are you doing here , Jake ? I'm not in the mood to entertain a guest "

" I'm not a guest though . I'm your friend ." Yeah , he's just a friend.

" It's still the same . But since you're already here , come in " That's what Jake needed to hear before he walked inside while he swayed his both arms .

He went directly to the kitchen as if he's a regular there and knew where it was . By the way , it's just his first time entering Heeseung's place . But the parts of his house is easy to locate .

" Come here , I know you're hungry . Where's Jay ? " He asked him but the older was just silent . He instantly knew something was up . He thought that the two probably argued last night because of what happened yesterday .

Heeseung sat down next to him and waited for him to finish unpacking the food he ordered .

" He's not here . Maybe he went out to look for Jungwon or he went to work . " He said , trying not to burst into tears once again " we broke up" he added that made the younger to look at him .

" What !? Why ?" Well , he didn't expect that to happen . He thought that the two of them will settle their problem .

" He's tired of me , I guess . He loves Jungwon more than me "

" And you're fine with that ? Geez bro that's not good "

Heeseung smiled . He was hurt but if Jay really likes Jungwon , maybe he'll just consider the thought of letting him go . But it is still hard . They've been together for so long . Their relationship is not easy to waste . He still loves Jay though he doesn't know what the other feels right now .

" I don't know . He was angry at me last night even though he's the one who did wrong to me . He said that we need to break up out of nowhere that I can't even scold him about him cheating on me . I just cried all night until I fell asleep . I feel like I'm stupid . "

" No , you're not . Just talk to him again when he comes home I'm sure he'll take back what he said . He's just overwhelmed by his emotions that he said those . Trust me , you two will be fine . " With his encouraging words , Heeseung smiled . It's nice to have Jake as a comforting friend . He's always there when he's on his lows.

" I hope so .. because I can't live without him " Heeseung said and Jake felt his chest tightens . It's painful hearing those from him . He felt hopeless . But he can't do anything but to support him to get Jay back . That's what he's supposed to do .

" Yes . Go get him back ." He said bitterly but he didn't let Heeseung notice it . He still smiled .

" Okay but after we finished eating . I'm hungry ." Finally the older was being himself again . Jake chuckled at his statement .

" Yeah of course ."

Heeseung kinda felt relieved that Jake was with him right now . Thanks to him and his comforting words . He can finally breathe fine .