[ sotd : too bad , wei ]
yuanyuan never really liked skinship, but with jisung, it was different. maybe it was because the both of them were shy and couldn't hold each other's hands for crying out loud, or maybe it was because her ex made her want to try something more.
of course, their school banned pda, for reasons obvious to any student with common sense, which was why she hadn't found a chance to do something (anything) with him. at least, even until nowc she prefers blaming it on the (perfectly reasonable) school system than her...
"—pussy," haneul says as she casually grabs jaehyun's collar and pulls him in for a quick peck on the lips. the latter complies without a hint of embarrassment, even deepening the kiss when she pulled away.
"..."
yuanyuan already knew her bestie was somewhat shameless, but seeing it unfold before her in a cafeteria full of students still brings some sort of feeling to her. her stomach churns as she shovels the remainder of her lunch in, desperately avoiding eye contact with jisung.
yes, jisung. the shy transfer from taeri high school who, coincidentally, is her online best friend recently turned boyfriend. even though their entire class knew and supported their relationship, she still couldn't bring herself to close the gap and give everyone the confirmation they need.
yuanyuan decides to dump her lunch as soon as she feels his eyes peer over. straightening out the hunch in her back, she saunters over to the trash can and shoves her empty milk carton in, putting in more force than she should have.
"wow, what's wrong?" haneul joins her a minute after, "you broke up with jisung?"
"WE DID NOT!" she retorts, pitch too high, volume too loud. maybe there's a crack in there somewhere, too.
"chill, chill," jaehyun makes a face as he goes for a second round of rice, "if y'all ever have problems, just kiss him. full on make out in front of the teachers and maybe continue making some porn content in the bathroom. male or female, you choose."
yuanyuan does not reply. she stalks out of the cafeteria, shameful and embarrassed and also angry at herself for being such a—
"...pussy!" she screams into her pillow and almost bursts out crying right there and then. jisung's presence in her life had given her the motivation to quit her bad habit of posting crying pictures on her twitter, but oh, how she longs to just post one bawling video right up there, right then.
"i hate—" she resorts to punching her teddy bear with a force that couldn't even hurt a fly even if she wanted to, "—i can't—!"
just kiss him.
it sounds easy.
too easy.
she looks up kissing scenes on youtube. she exits after three minutes. she asks her older brother. she gets kicked out of his room for interrupting his valorant game. she interviews her parents, and they search her room to make sure she isn't dating someone behind their back (she is).
well.
tomorrow.
tomorrow, i will try to kiss him.
it should be easy. it should be as easy as how haneul and jaehyun makes it out to be. just a teeny, tinyyyyyyyyyy...
yuanyuan's hand stops in midair. jisung looks at her in confusion.
"you called me all the way to the back garden to...?"
she lowers her hand and holds his instead, because unlike kissing, she has held his hand before and it does not unnerve her too much. even though she has only held his hands twice before this entire fiasco.
"i..."
she gives up after three seconds.
she runs away.
this is not going well at all.
after calling him to a secluded place to hold his hand for three seconds, yuanyuan finds jisung avoiding her. he looks away and pretends not to see her whenever she passes by his seat, and three days pass by before she decides to do the same.
it's not too bad, she realises, it's just like going back to the time when he was in taeri and never existed in my real life.
she slaps herself for that thought. quite literally.
"is... is everything okay?"
jisung is beside her in a split second, and the group of mean girls sitting behind her start whispering.
"y... no, not really," she mutters dejectedly and buries her face into her palms, "i'm stupid as hell."
he does nothing except give her a gentle, comforting squeeze on the shoulders, and even though she knows it's because he is wary of spooking her, she still wishes him to do more. maybe kiss her, or something.
another week passes by, and yuanyuan finally makes up her mind.
this will be the day.
she calls jisung to the back garden once again, and she remembers to tell haneul to keep nosy people away.
when he arrives, she is fidgeting, frantically tapping her fingers on the rusted metal fence, getting reddish-brown powder all over her sleeves. something pricks her finger and startles her.
"shift!" she curses under her breath, though it isn't really a curse; just a joke she found funnier than her life.
"you're going to need injections for that," jisung leans over her shoulder to check her wound, "you know, tetanus and all."
something takes over her as she turns around and gathers the collar of his shirt in her right fist. it pulls him in, closing the distance between them until she can feel the heat of his breath on her face.
jisung leans in a little more, and almost kisses her.
yuanyuan smashes her left hand into his face just before he lands that kiss. he makes a surprised and wounded noise, and she interrupts his protest.
"you are not going to kiss me," she declares, "i am going to kiss you."
then she removes her hand, and suddenly her lips are on his.
it's not too bad for a first time. he bites her bottom lip a bit too hard and she is almost sure her breath reeks of disgusting cafeteria kimchi, and maybe she hears the excited whoops of haneul and jaehyun, but it is not bad at all. suddenly she doesn't remember why hesitation kept her back for days, and she feels like she could lose herself in this very kiss for weeks.
when they break apart, they are slightly out of breath, very very red, and his hands are hovering over her waist.
"that was..."
"wow," she finishes his sentence.
"we should do that more."
"wow." she doesn't know what else to say.
jisung chooses to rest his hands on her shoulders, just like he always did whenever she let him touch her. "was that why you slapped yourself last time? you've been avoiding me a lit and i was starting to get worried."
yuanyuan gets a little redder every time he mentions her mini cringe phase. "y-yes," she replies, "and what about it? you got a kiss from me, n-now drop it."
he grins and tightens his grip around her until they are snuggling close, then nuzzles his head into the crook of her neck.
"not bad, love."
im so sorry for this i just suddenly had yuandy brainrot in the middle of work
