47 | facing the reality

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I clicked a button on my new computer to shut it off and it obliged, flashing from the white screen of a website to blackness

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I clicked a button on my new computer to shut it off and it obliged, flashing from the white screen of a website to blackness. I pushed my hands off the side of the table and rolled away for a good five feet before it halted. This was easy, a blink of an eye. But it wasn't over. I still had to talk to Ace - the hardest part of it all. I sighed in frustration and got myself up to walk towards the exit out of my room.

It had been three days since we arrived and I barely got out of my room. It had everything so I saw no need to get out. Ace, Luca, Alex, Noah, and Elijah had been burying themselves deep into work because they were behind - due to the hospital situation. The other brothers frequently went out to help them too.

The fifth therapist had come yesterday to visit me - the others before her had come to the hospital but I didn't like them and disapproved. But the recent one was the worst - she had told me that mental issues came only from my head and that I only needed to push them away. Which I snapped that I was already doing it. I couldn't believe that she was one of the highest recommended therapists. The one before the fifth one came one who said I seemed fine and I may be seeking attention. The one before, the third one, didn't see any issues with me. So did the first two. It was safe to say that Luca and Ace were frustrated with them. And probably me with my indifference to them even when I agreed to therapy, although they didn't say anything towards me.

If I was being honest, it only encouraged me. It made me proud that I hid my demons so well during the day. The only thing that was out of the ordinary was my mental breakdown in the kitchen which I regretted every single hour.

I stepped into the loft which was in the middle of my mini "house" room and ran my gaze over the countless boxes that were shipped here. In these three days, some of the brothers had been bringing the stuff up to here while I sat listening to music and reading - which I immensely missed and enjoyed greatly. I also ordered them to put the things where I wanted them to be. I don't have to do the heavy work because I would probably snap like a twig if I attempted to lift a heavy thing.

One of the perks of being physically weak, at least, is that I can be lazy while my brothers do all the work for me.

I caught Pumpkin sleeping on one of the bean bags and smiled at how cute she is. She had been happier in a bigger space which I was relieved about because I didn't want her or wander around the house. The exit and entrance doors were opened and closed repeatedly by the maids and bodyguards far too much and I was afraid that she'd escape.

Before I went out into the hallway, I slipped on a pair of my new long pink fuzzy socks over my black leggings that went up to the middle of my calf. The mansion's hard floor was usually freezing, even in the summers according to Apollo. It was now fast approaching December so it was colder. The mountains were more exquisite in winter in the Washington state and I was grateful to have the best view of them from my rooms.

The Romanos didn't celebrate Christmas - to my disappointment because I used to love Christmas more than anything - because Alex and I (by my mother) were kidnapped around that time. I can notice the others eyeing Alex in concern and worry. Apollo just mentioned that he freaks out and broke down each year around his time but nothing else. Nobody told me exactly how he would act on this day but it was obvious that it won't be pretty and knowing Alex, his version of a freak-out probably involved blood.

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